Astrology is really about timing. And studying cycles of time.
Last week was one of the most challenging weeks I can remember since my Saturn Return in 1998. And it’s basically a preview, which kinda stinks. But the good news is, that even with the most challenging transits, there is always an invitation.
On June 2, 1998, when Saturn tightly conjunct my natal Saturn by exact degree, I was fired from a job. Yeah, me! (That’ll be funny, if you know me well.)
The infamous Saturn Return. At the time, it felt devastating. I was trying to rebuild my life after my 1st divorce. I was on my own again after 8 years of marriage, in a tiny apartment with my then 4-year old Honeybee. I found myself working for a woman whose Leo Sun was smack on top of my Leo Moon. Normally, sun-moon contacts like this are an indication of good simpatico.
But I had a history with this woman. And it turned out, she had an agenda linked to that history. It’s funny when other people in your life think they know what’s appropriate for you. It’s probably the biggest mistake we make. Assuming we can understand the perspective from which another is standing and then decide for them, what is appropriate or right or what they should or should not be doing.
June 2, 1998 turned out to be the biggest blessing ever. Transiting Saturn returned to its natal position of my birth and basically, it was time to pay the piper, so-to-speak. If you’ve been a responsible, hard-working person, Saturn Returns are usually not too bad. And even if you’ve been a responsible, hard-working person, but are on a path that is not in alignment with your overall life purpose, Saturn’s scythe will take you out at your knees and make a course correction, on your behalf. (Saturn’s domain includes the archetype of father.)
June 3, 1998, I found myself in a Temp Office being put on assignment with their very large corporate client, Experian. I spent 8 years at Experian, learning all my webification shizzle. And so much more.
Being exposed to a corporate structure, it’s processes, how it functions, would be a foundation for me to jump into my own thing. This thing. I’m doing now.
Last week and now almost 13 years later, transiting Saturn is just about exactly opposite of where he was in 1998. And now, instead of feeling the oppressive weight or responsibility and combined feelings of not being able to move around in the way I want to… happening to my Self, I’m feeling it now in the area where Saturn transits my chart today: relationships (biz and intimate) and work & service or my day-to-day activities.
Last week, my working life ground to a halt. I’ve experienced days where I don’t feel as focused on work and being productive and they usually pass rather quickly. By the next day, I can feel back on track, as long as I’ve created the space to honor some “play” time (I’ve discovered play time is the antidote for those with strong Saturn/Capricorn influences).
Last week, Monday lasted all week long though. And all week long, I kept having expectations of myself to shake the heavy funk and get moving on the workload. And while this last year has been a rewarding and expansive one, I’m beginning to feel the pressure and responsibility of not only fulfilling the expectations of my clients (biz partnerships) but also maintaining many of those client structures that were developed in the very beginning of my expansion. I’ve really been trying to operate at both biz growth levels and I’m exhausted and overwhelmed.
So, what to do?
Although Saturn does have a somewhat harsh reputation for being the contractor, causing feelings of depression and isolation, this planet also rules wisdom and learning via life experience.
Even with the most challenging Saturn aspects, whether transits to natal planets/house cusps or even in relationship horoscopes, where astrology evaluates the effect a relationship will have on the two individuals relating, as long as you can make the choice to embrace the lessons and/or qualities that Saturn represents, you have a chance to make it through one of these growth cycles instead of becoming a victim to the universe.
Saturn is basically asking me to slow down. Like waaaaay down. And ask myself some very important long-term strategic questions to support the growth in my business and life.
It’s time for moderation. And with so much fire (the action element in astrology) in my natal chart, my tendency in life has always been lightening-speed efficiency. I know, you thought I was the meandering Ferdinand the Bull, right? But as I’ve said before… we are not just our Sun Signs. And the firey influence of the rest of my chart modifies the behavior of the steady, nature-loving Bull.
I’m realizing there has been way too much ‘hammering it into place’ and ‘hard-work is how I justify to the universe that good things come to me.” The inner vibrational message here reveals a belief in the limiting side of Saturn.
If I can see my internal limits for what they are, I’ll support myself so much better if I focus on Saturn as the teacher, not the obstructor, and thereby develop an even deeper reservoir of inner personal strength.
Saturn represents structure and the boundaries that help to support and maintain those structures. If I am truly to keep growing, I’ll need these valuable lessons from Saturn to take with me into my ever-expanding future.
And in this way, Saturn gives me deep personal meaning and helps underline a sense of purpose, in this rather challenging and difficult time of rapid growth and expansion (due to another powerful sky player, Jupiter, in exact aspect to other sensitive areas of my chart).
Saturn’s message: Slow down. Take a deep breath. Tap into my inner reservoir of strength and wisdom, and allow it to guide me.
Astrology can be a powerful ally to your personal transformation. Or, just that stuff you read in the daily newspaper or monthly magazine column. It’s up to us individually, to use the resources at our disposal and decide to see it optimystically, or we die trying.
Last week, a part of me died. I’m in the process of laying to rest all my trying. I’ve been reborn in a deeper inner wisdom and discovered my strength lies in recognizing my ultimate purpose here is not about trying, it’s about allowing.
*Qualities of the Saturn/Capricorn archetype are represented in bold throughout this post.