I’m a coach, consultant & strategizer. I’m also an artist who thrives on co-creation with some of the bravest women on earth.
Are you one of them? She’s usually another seeker, like me. She believes what I believe; that Love changes everything. She knows the only necessary effort is focus. She trusts her own magic. Believing first. Holding the vision. Expanding into that field with emotional intention. She’s playful & joy-filled.
Optimystical. My special brand of magic.
I have stories to tell you. Unfulfilled childhood fantasies. Abandonment. Divorces. Motherhood. Careers & Corporate ladders. Adultery. Betrayal. Financial failure. Coming out mid-life. My latest installment… breast cancer.
We all have our stories. I believe there is power in those stories. Each time one is re-told. Especially the ones from the past that keep us repeating a pattern. Where we experience it emotionally all over again, setting & anchoring a tone or energetic vibration into our being.
And we carry it around. Coloring every other story we tell (or re-tell). Whether it’s one from the past. Or the story we are living right now. And shit if we can’t even see and understand the power of telling the story of our future.
To tell a new story in our today, in this now moment. Is Power. To realize in your next now moment, the kind of story you’re telling and, if it suits you better, changing it. Is Magic.
Optimism is power. This is a secret discovered by all who succeed against great odds. Nelson Mandela, Ernest Shackleton, Eleanor Roosevelt—all admitted that what got them through tough times was an ability to focus on the positive. They understood what Claude Bristol called “the magic of believing.” ~Tom Butler-Bowdon
That’s the magic of optimysm.
My blog is about sharing that. How and what I’m doing to make the most out of it. Expanding and embracing everything with a deliberate focus on optimysm, wonder & Love. I’m not an expert at anything… except learning how to be more myself. Recognizing it’s always been my stories about love that move me, shake me and wake me up…
Maybe the biggest love story of my life is unfolding as the wake-up call of cancer. I’m still being with all of it. Making peace. Using my personal armament of choice, which means that I get to Love my cancer, accept it & I imagine cultivate approval of it & the powerful message it brings. Finding the place I hear many other people who are living with this diagnosis saying… that cancer is a gift. An opportunity for me to grow more deeply into the very values I cherish so much. Facing-forward optimystically, filled with wonder & learning to Love & approve of all of me (including cancer & other perceived areas of unworthiness, inadequacy & doubt) who I seem mission-bound on finding. Until, paradoxically, I arrive at the idea & feel the truth of it down deep into the marrow of my bones; she’s already here. So be it. Amen.
How I got here.
Late 1994, I was watching Oprah in Talent, Oregon. I had just left my first husband for the first time. My recently turned one-year old daughter lie asleep in her crib as I listened to Oprah mention that her next guest would be praying. Intrigued, I thought, “Prayer on national afternoon television?”
Marianne Williamson came on and well, she prayed. It was a different kind of prayer. It wasn’t full of religion. It was about seeing another’s innocence in the situation and about making a conscious choice to surrender what couldn’t be changed about the past and begin looking forward.
I watched the guests on the show transform right before my eyes. I think I transformed too. Because I was there watching it and being a part of it. Experiencing if for my self on many levels.
It was a miraculous moment on television. In the women’s lives who were sharing their stories with Oprah & Marianne. In the lives of television viewers who watched that afternoon across America & the World. And in my own life. In that moment I suddenly got…
So this is what I’m doing now. This right here. What you’re reading. What I’m writing about on my blog.
I have stories to fill in the gaps, to let you know I’m a human being like you. Facing it all. Yet what’s more powerful for me is making a conscious choice to want more than to just be able to face it and survive. I want to know what Love is. I want to know who I am.
I’m also helping women create a web presence that reflects who they are; mashing together an awesome set of hard skills I’ve picked up along the way with a whole lotta soft skills I use everyday in my own life.
Some tid bits.
- I have a 19 year-old daughter whom I refer to as the Honeybee. She plays Water Polo. She is bright and beautiful and one of my greatest sources of joy and fulfillment and graduates this year, heading off to college in the Fall.
- I’ve been with my girlfriend, Andrea, for six years. She’s an 18-country world traveling Sagittarius. A Certified Scuba Instructor who lived on Guam for three years… just picked up from Bakersfield, California and said “Bye Mom & Family & Friends…” and left. By herself. Since knowing her, I’ve been to more destinations (locally & globally). She considers herself an amateur photographer (although most of her world disagrees with the amateur part) and is usually the person responsible for my headshots (see photo collage below) that I use here on my website.
- I’m a Taurus, with Venus rising in Aries and a Leo Moon. Speak astrology? Here’s my chart.
- I spent some of my growing up years bouncing between Southern California and Southern Oregon (Rogue Valley). In 5th grade, I lived on Greensprings Mountain and went to school with 13 kids who also lived on the mountain. I climbed 80 foot pine trees and communed with nature on daily. The path to our little red schoolhouse often intersected with the Oregon Trail. Running along the scarred earth, between the two wagon wheels, I wondered what it was like to travel & live in a covered wagon. With Aries rising and this unusual blessing of growing up (for a short time) on the Oregon Trail, I feel like “Pioneer” sorta fits me.
- I’m left handed.
- We have three four two cats whom I wear mostly.
- I’ve been married and divorced twice. I probably will not marry again. Being a freedom-seeking being, I’m not sure I believe in it… or maybe it’s that I have my own “ideal” about Love… which is that it’s way more dimensional than the current ideologies we tend to shove it into.
- A couple of my personal (and constant) challenges are expecting too much of myself, comparing myself to others, and I sometimes stay in it for far too long (a shadow side of Taurus). I’m learning to support myself to let go sooner and reminding myself often; it’s usually not about me.
- Music saves me. Every time. And I secretly wish I could sing.
June 2012, one month before I shaved my head bald after my second round of chemo.
If you’ve read this far… WOW! That’s a lotta stuff to read so thank you. It means the world to me to be able to share myself and my stories with you. Maybe now, you’d like to share yours…