That Day In The Garden

What I imagine the apple said to Eve on that day in the garden…

“Life will break you.

Nobody can protect you from that,

and living alone won’t either,

for solitude will also break you with its yearning.

You have to love.

You have to feel.

It is the reason you are here on earth.

You are here to risk your heart.

You are here to be swallowed up.

And when it happens that you are broken,

or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes near,

let yourself sit by an apple tree

and listen to the apples falling

all around you in heaps,

wasting their sweetness.

Tell yourself you tasted as many as you could.”

Eva Herzigova in El Jardín Secreto de Eva’ (Eva’s Secret Garden), El Pais Moda, March 2010. Original photo by Giampaolo Sgura.

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Trusting The Call of Your Expansion

Redesign.

Go ahead, BE A FOOL! Expansion is worth it :)

It can be a scary word or an exciting word, when you’re a web presencer like me.

I’ve had clients joke around about it immediately after launch. I’ve had clients seriously reconsider everything right at or just before launch (fear rears it’s ugly head in the form of self-doubt). And, in many more situations, I’ve had clients who feel in desperate need of a redesign because their existing web space feels terribly incongruent for who’ve they become today.

That is why this word, redesign, is both scary and exciting. Scary at the thought of “starting over again” and exciting because renewal has energy. An energy that can help propel us to the next place we want to go.

Which ties in directly to one of my main intentions for helping coaches and artists presence themselves online… which is, to create a place they can fall in love with and pour more of themselves in to it.

My whole she-bang is about expansion. Expanding yourself. Expanding your world. Your outreach. Internet and technology are primary resources for doing it in today’s new and interesting economy.

My big news.

I came to Thesis in the summer of 2009. I’ve steadily grown into my theme. Expanding it here and there. Adding (and removing) elements to my design as my business grew and evolved. It is a process… and it’s never finished. Really.

And not unless you’ve already been out here for a few years doing it, will you have one of those sites. When you begin, it’s sparse at first. And little by little it becomes more as you invest time and energy into growing your business.

Because redesigns rarely happen simply because you don’t like the look and feel anymore. And if they do, then you’ve got time & money to burn. For me and my clients, that is not where we are (and I’m not sure any serious, successful online entrepreneur is either or they wouldn’t be successful.)

My big news is I’m redesigning my website. I want to share this with you because my hunch is, you’ll want to know because every online biz owner will face a moment similar to mine… and it’s always so comforting to know we’re not alone, right?

Maybe you’ve been thinking about it yourself. You’ve got questions. And throughout the entire process of a redesign, many more questions arise and will need direction and input from the steering committee which is you.

Most redesigns happen behind-the-scenes and then are “revealed” like a magician’s re-appearing assistant in the spinning wardrobe. Ta-da!

It’s all cool and nice. But when I look around, I don’t recall seeing anyone who’s ever shared the process. Not that that’s bad. It is about relevancy too.

If your niche is not technology or web presencing, sharing your redesign would seem completely irrelevant to your audience… or, only relevant to them in terms of “what’s in it for me?” Will it be easier to navigate? Will I be able to find the content I’m looking for more easily? Stuff like that.

Maybe you’ve been thinking about doing it yourself. Maybe it would nice to understand my reasons for doing it and my decision-making process. And, get a sense of the kinds of  decisions that you might make along the way. That any online biz owner might have to decide for their own redesign.

Starting now, I’m sharing whatever I want to (those are the rules when it’s your web presence) with regard to my redesign. From the why’s to the how’s.

I’ve got some surprises too. I’m leaping off the precipice, like the Fool in the tarot deck. Away from my comfort zone of Thesis (gasp!) and following the call of my own expansion.

Because the call for expansion in life and business always requires taking some risks. Besides, I’ve got my “A” story and I’m willing to drink my own kool-aid here and fearlessly face the threats of making a mistake or even failing completely because the ride of expansion is always worth it.

Everyone loves a sexy reveal, but I’m opting for the strip-tease instead…

I hope you’ll come along for the ride. I’d love to hear your questions about redesigns. What’s scary about it, what’s exciting about it. How to know when it’s time for you to do it.

Subscribe if you haven’t and you want to follow along.

Relationships & Alignment

The topic of all time. Yes. Think about it.

I’ve had my share of radio broadcasting experience. Always, someone wants to know about Love. Their love life… or usually, the lack of it. A partner. An intimate compadre. With benefits!!! Because love is mixed up with lust and desire and sexuality too. We want it all. Right? And especially when we don’t have it. We REALLY want it!

Today is the day. We bow down before our idol: a big giant red heart trimmed in lacey doily stuff with a hidden “dark” underneath… sweet & melty.

We shower our beloved in gifts and sweet adornments. Except if you don’t have a sweetie to adore (or receive adoration from). Which makes this a most-loathed-day ever. Where we try and comfort our hearts (which so longingly desire to give/share love with someone) with the idea that WE are our own valentine. Or can be.

Ouch. It never really worked for me either.

Looking For Love In All The Wrong Places

The only time you notice it’s not coming back (love) is if you are outside the Vortex depending on it to resource You. ~Abraham

Abraham says that relationships are one of our biggest subjects because it is through relationships we discover who we are.

From the perspective of alignment (or being in the Vortex), relationships teach us about our proximity to our own alignment to Love itself. Real love is not about romantic relationships and all of its idealized components (although those fantasies can really help you tell yourself wonderful new stories and gain you access to your Vortex).

Relationship teaches me about my own tune (ability to be a broadcaster of Love in the universe). It’s about being a Lover. Being the one who adores instead of the one who is looking for adoration from another.

This Valentine’s Day

The Valentine you hold and can offer to your world, today & everyday, is your appreciation, love, and adoration.

How you flow it outward into your life is up to you. Who or what you use as an excuse not to flow it, is up to you. Making conditions of satisfaction necessary before you flow the appreciation, is up to you.

Discover a freedom that comes when you figure out that the way you feel is about directing your own focus. Looking for reasons to feel good. Looking for the positive aspects of the one whom you are adoring.

And that by becoming an adorer of all that is, we find alignment to who we really are and influence our world in the most positive way we can.

[This is a video post, so you might need to click through if you’re reading this via email or RSS.]

Coming up in the closing days of 40 Days of Alignment:

  • another post today… Judy Kinney shows us what it looks like to give adoration to self on this day for Lovers.
  • a guest post from Lisa Capehart on using the example of nature to help us align with our own internal compass around Health & Wellness.
  • Jessica is gonna talk about money, i just know it 🙂
  • more tips on building your lists of positive aspects and other list building ideas that when practiced, help you reset your emotional vibrational bubble around any subject

Wellness & Alignment

In the book Money & The Law of Attraction, I was surprised to discover that money was not the primary focus on the book.

There are really three sections: one reviews principles of Law of Attraction (pivoting & positive aspects), another section on money (obviously), and the last and largest section of the book is about health & wellness.

Why would health & wellness be put before the topics of money/abundance or even the all time favorite for most of us, relationships and love?

Here’s the nugget I got. A teeny piece of clarity that I took action on. It didn’t feel full of effort either, the decision to do something. It felt more like inspiration.

In the physical world, with my physical body, I experience this life. Even though (I believe) there is a larger part of each of us that remains connected to that which created it all or Source.

Abraham sort of drove home for me, in the larger part of this book that had a title about money but which was really about health & wellness, that if feeling good (or better) is the primary condition for easing myself into alignment, if I can feel good in my physical body, it will serve as a sort of filter for my entire physical experience.

The body being the major actor in our whole life experience, if it’s functioning at its optimal state of health & wellness, can be one of the primary ways we get in touch with states of feeling good.

When you talk with people who are at the top of the physical wellness game, its obvious the confidence they feel and how on fire about life they are. And the primary motivation behind that fire, is that they feel good within themselves. They are, in fact, practicing a form of self appreciation.

So, something clicked that day for me. About how I could use my body as a filter, to pre-pave the entirety of my physical experience, through the feel-goodedness I could create within my physical wellbeing.

I kinda felt like I had picked up on some important tip here. That I seemed to have missed up until now.

What does this have to do with building lists?

Well, certainly your physical wellness is a primary segment of life to focus on. I’ve told you why body or wellness in general became my primary focus, initially in this process of playing with these techniques.

And you can sit down and begin a positive aspect list for your wellness and your body (including mental, spiritual, emotional aspects as well).

And if you decide you want to use your body, in the same way I have, then if you choose to build a list of positive aspects about your wellness, you will be launching off into alignment with that desire with much more intent, focus, clarity, mojo… whatever you call it. (Abraham refers to it as the energy that creates worlds, so the power to be a creator?)

As opposed to doing it the way I’ve approached my wellness most of my entire life until now. Which is, that I would launch off into the wellness journey from the foundation or platform of “I really can’t stand this part of myself, or how I look in a picture/on video or how I feel in my clothes…” and on and on. If you’re a woman, I know she hears this and, unfortunately, it’s familiar.

So creating a list of positive aspects puts us, at a minimum, in a state of neutrality (we’ve ceased thinking the self-loathing thoughts) and sometimes even better is we get shot into the future picture of our wellness and we begin to call it with our focus or attention to the list of positive shizzle we just wrote down.

In bed at night, I think about having the body that gives me the most pleasure to have. How wonderful my body is, that my cells know and understand wellness automatically! With or without my participation. And now imagine if I’m participating in my wellness?

What if I got in line with that future wellness picture and started living it right here, right now? If only in small segments of my imagination at first.

And then I go walk. Or eat. Get dressed. Drink a glass of water. Or just take a few moments to completely and thoroughly enjoy several deep slow breathes. The abundance of air that I can fill my lungs with and then how easily I release, let go, relax and exhale… not even thinking twice about whether or not there will be enough oxygen for the next one. Just automatically enjoying all that I need, right here, in this moment.

What if, you set out on your journey to wellness, using a launching pad of acknowledging those things which you desire and how it will feel to be in alignment with those desires? And what if, you made peace with your body where you are right now with it, by simply looking for qualities of wellness that you/your body already possess?

I hope you’re taking the time to create your lists of positive aspects. Today I hope you’ll consider your own journey toward wellness. Writing down the specific qualities of your wellness. How you are feeling in your body, about your body. It doesn’t matter if your current reality doesn’t match where you are going. The here & now is only temporary. You are just passing through. On your way toward alignment.

In the final days of 40 days of Alignment, I’ve invited a few favorite people to share in a guest post, their ideas about alignment and what it means for them. You’ll be hearing from my wellness coach/friend/colleague, Lisa Capehart, the lovely Jessica Reagan Salzman will share her alignment & money slant, and finally, Judy Kinney will stop by with some perspectives on LOVE & relationships. I’m really excited about sharing these women with you and hoping some of their perspectives will help you consider items for your lists of positive aspects for those subjects.

xomm.

Creating Fertile Ground For Harvesting Your Creative Solutions

Building lists. Makes me wanna yawn. Really? Take what precious time for self that I’m carving out and build lists in a journal? But here’s what I know about myself. If I don’t practice it, it ain’t happenin’.

That’s what got me here, to 40 Days of Alignment. I haven’t been practicing much lately. Writing it down at least. I feel like I’ve gotten pretty good at seeing the good side of it, the half-full side, the silver linings. Optimystical, right?

And it’s true. I know I do have that gift. Of helping others to shift their own vibe so they feel better or expanded.

But I also know, I’ve lost touch with some of it. I say to myself and others, I’m cataloging or filtering things now through a more positive lens… but I’ve noticed particular sorenesses arising. About my value and worth. And I know that means I’ve lost touch with the vibration I build over time, when I keep lists of positive aspects. More specifically, if it’s my worth and value on the radar, it means I get to practice seeing myself as Source sees me…. Or build a daily practice that incorporates a ritual of appreciating my self.

And like Abraham has said in several of these videos, acknowledging myself is one of the most the challenging things for me to do. To stand before a mirror and look into my own eyes and even acknowledge my inner being is in there is, for starters, spooky! And to take an issue head-on means you are focused on the issue. The solution will not be with the problem (or issue). Or near it even.

So, directing focused thoughts away from the issue can introduce a relaxing-into-the-way-things-are kinda of tone (like yesterday’s video suggested “the amount of self love I hold for myself right now is perfect”) we can very quickly find ourselves in the vicinity of, well, not the problem. And maybe not the solution either, but we’ll get access to other resources like relief, hope, inspiration, and creativity… which are ripe and fertile ground for harvesting solutions.

Creating fertile ground, aka “building lists”

So lists it is. I’m going back to lists because it’s easy too. It’s an easy way into feeling good. Instead of doing what my mental self wants to do which is pursue some answer to any current challenging situation. Been buying that t-shirt for years!

Since focusing on me first would be hard, I’m starting positive aspect lists for the things I love. Yes, it’s true. Any feel good counts. Doesn’t really matter where and how you get it. Just get it. So I can ease myself into self acknowledgment by actually looking at something else that helps me be an appreciator and broadcast my song (which is what appreciation is).

In my journal, I’ve started with my morning walk. On another day I listed my pets, and then coffee (morning coffee girl I am). And relationships are always a wonderful topic for making positive aspect lists! Any kind of relationship… a friendship, a lover, parent, child, teacher, our clients…

And if you own a business, and have not sat down to write (appreciate) qualities of your perfect client(s)… guess what? (big goofy grin)

Here’s the one I started this morning, for my perfect people:

  • Patient, kind, honest
  • Integrity or we hold very similar values about life, self and self-awareness
  • Always asking/telling me they are sending me money
  • Creative, trusting, intuitive, listening to their inner being
  • They love figuring it out, connecting the dots, having someone show them how
  • They love celebrating their tech successes with me
  • Always willing to try again
  • They want their web presence so much, we work continuously together until it’s complete
  • They love the new products/services I’m creating to help them
  • The way that I help them is just what they need

In my journal, I’m leaving a few pages between topics so I can keep adding to each list. I’ve been building lists for my “ideal client qualities” ever since I read Attracting Perfect Customers. And what I’ve noticed, is that when new clients show up, my new habit is that I’m always looking to see those qualities in them, and frequently I also discover brand new qualities that I didn’t yet know I wanted. So I tell them, “I’ve just added this quality about you to my list of things I love about my perfect customers!”

So go watch a video and then make a list. Any list. Of the positive qualities on any subject in your life. Or start by making a list of possible subjects for list-making. But pick up your pen and write it down.

This is where we do it. We are getting aliiiiiiiigned 😉

xomm.

And Then I Will Uplift The World

I hope you are enjoying the emotional ride of 40 Days of Alignment. I sometimes notice myself calling it 40 Days to Alignment and realize that I can achieve alignment everyday. Or even, every moment.

Which sounds like it would take a lot of discipline. However, the interesting counter intuitive surprise is that the only effort required to do it, is in focusing on feeling good. Or just better, if you’ve suddenly found yourself deep in the messiness of heartache’s like as grief, loss, death. Or, most frightening of all, a feeling of powerlessness.

Like when I saw the bumper sticker yesterday that said “2012 can’t get here fast enough” and any of the “Yes on 8” bumper stickers from 2008. Deep within powerlessness, lies the primal need for survival (even when we’re not mortally threatened). It’s been in my greatest states of feeling no power to change/control/influence a person or situation, that I’ve done and said the most destructive things to others and/or myself.

Alignment is many things. Which is why I love that it’s my word for the entire year of 2011 (not just these 40-or-so days I’m focusing on it). In it’s simplest form, alignment is appreciation. And alignment is also about innocence or guiltlessness…  a state where I am able to suspend judgment entirely. It’s the ability to appreciate each other, for exactly who we are. In alignment, diversity is actually celebrated.

I have to pause here, because my imagination momentarily ran away with me to the place where people genuinely celebrated each others differences.

Stunning, isn’t it?

Think about that for a moment. What are the qualities of people like that? We are curious and full of wonder. We look out toward our tomorrows instead back at our yesterdays. Whether looking into a stranger’s or our lover’s face, we see ourselves.

What we think and feel about the world, people and situations in our life, is the signal we broadcast. This 40-day series is about refining your signal and being more on purpose with it (you can get it delivered straight to your inbox by adding your name & email in the my sidebar.)

The emotional journey continues…

Take a few minutes to watch (or close your eyes and listen). Setting the tone for the rest of your day…  and become increasingly addicted to alignment.

[This is a video post, so you might need to click through if you’re reading this via email or RSS.]

Void Where Prohibited

It’s been a couple of weeks since I posted. I’ve been into another void of sorts. And I’m happy to say that I’m doing a lot better at loving myself through this one than I did the last time this happened.

What happened? Oh, you know, things are running along smoothly and then bam! You hit tired, or exhausted or anything in between. And this eventually, for me at least, leads to doing nothing. Which is the point that I get now.

But not too long ago I beat myself up for not being able to figure out where the void came from or why the void came… basically fixing the shit outta stuff that’s not broken.

So another void. This time, I’ve turned into self-love sooner. Because I’m recognizing, it is the only thing to remain in absolute steadfast connection with as often as possible. It is the key to everything. All my goodness. All my success. All my joy. All my freedom. It’s in learning to love & accept myself more. With every single situation I encounter in my life.

With this void, I am restructuring a lot of old thinking into new ways of seeing things.

Because, in the end, how I see it, how I see any person or situation, is my choice.

Feeling “at home” with the void

There is a place for voids in my life. I believe this. Six month ago, I needed more external support with that (thank you Charlie, Lee, Lisa & ladies of my Heart of Business Mastermind group). So for today, I’m making peace with where I am right now, because it’s the only way to move forward. Embracing what is.

And what is, is the void. Another one. And there will be another after this one. And as long as I keep loving myself through it at the forefront of the process, the voids are sweet and good and precious moments of recollecting and reassembling myself internally. Leaving behind the stuff that doesn’t fit anymore.  Discovering clarity to move forward with renewed intention.  And conjuring the most positive expectations for what might be next.

Very recently, I had one of those experiences where you read something old and discover something brand new. The famous “In the beginning” quote from the bible came into my consumptive stream (weird, coincidental, or Divinely timed?)… About when it was all first created. One word jumped out of the sentences I read for the 1,000th time. And I had this teensy reconciliatory moment.

We all came from the void. Every new thought or idea, comes from the void. Every artist’s creation comes from the void of creativity itself.

I’ve transformed my view the void. Instead of resisting it, I relax into it now. I trust it and its messages. Messages about slowing down, being still and getting back to my own roots; where my soul is the resource I mine. A space for creating balance so I do not remain lost in my business-only [or insert yours here] pursuits.

I personally believe, cultivating a skill of learning to see situations differently, is vital for shifting our lives out of survival mode and into thriving. It’s one of the main reasons a life coach is hired, to help you cultivate an expanded awareness or re-orientation toward life’s challenges and sore spots (places of vulnerability we protect at any cost and keep hidden from the world).

Learning to work with our challenges and sore spots requires support. And being too stuck in our own perspectives, we cannot do this inner work alone.

If you’re curious and want to know more about learning to see the challenging situations or people in your life differently or would like to discover how your sore spot might actually be a hidden super power (true story!), let’s chat.