Love, War, Armies & Chemotherapy

So, yeah… cancer. My life has changed in so many ways. Duh, right!? I’ve received an outpouring of L.O.V.E. Some shock, disbelief, denial even (as-in no response whatsoever from people you thought might say something).

I choose, Life is busy, for all of us.

I choose, This is hard & difficult news about someone you love & we each have different skills & tools (& timelines) for processing the information.

I choose, To see innocence. And not to judge. Because I am certain I am loved.

Hopefully since my last post though, you’ve been thinking about hugs since

my cancer manifesto is to Love it to death. Harrrrrr !!!

Not everyone is embracing this approach. Even my girlfriend stands firm in her own slogan for this adventure. In other words, her custom tee-shirt says “FUCK CANCER.”

Neither approach is wrong. It’s just that one feels more right for me. And everyone is entitled to feel however they feel about it. Shit, the last thing I need or want is someone telling me I’m doing cancer wrong.

I will be continuing to write. And do all the creative things I love doing like digital photography & design because a wise person/coach once told me ART SAVES LIVES and because I’ve looked through my camera lens enough times when it’s painful or confusing or just doesn’t make sense and found relief, compassion & empathy; and a deeper appreciation for my humanity.

I’m making juice instead of war, thanks to Kris Carr’s Crazy Sexy Diet. Her book is a Godsend for those who want to be proactive with their diagnosis and have no idea where to begin. GODSEND.

I’m sharing the more intimate parts of my journey and getting support using a private group on Facebook. Thank God for Facebook (technology) and it’s ability to help me connect with and gather up my personal army of love that I call the Love Squad.

I’ve started a Flickr set called HUG MY CANCER which, for now, is my little shoebox of adventure photos.

And I’ve received some of the most amazing responses to the invitation to HUG it, and LOVE it & SQUEEEEZE it & NAME IT my divine diagnosis.

And I watch in wonder as other things simply appear. At the right time. There we are, all lined up together.

Like enjoying an arts & crafter make a bunny-on-a-swing on TV while I wait for 45-minutes for radioactive sugar to make it’s way through my body so it can be picked up while I’m tubin’ it. #calilove

Or finding myself in the hands of two of the most compassionate Doctors and their teams. My breast surgeon is as excited about his website (breastcanceranswers.com) and it’s over 240 video answers as he is about determining the very best treatment plan for my cancer.

So how is it, that this heart-centered tech wiz girl-entrepreneur with cancer gets hooked up with compassionate, heart-based & technology-driven doctor entrepreneurs?

I wonder.

All are welcome to my army of Love and I am open to receiving your messages.

A few days ago, I was delighted to learn a dear friend will be walking in my name at a breast cancer charity event.

Another friend texted me last night with this story:

“This is really silly but a young inexperienced girl just drove 30 miles (considered a long haul in the bay area) to buy a loft bed from us. My price was $135. She came with $35, a misunderstanding on her part. She was in tears but still I had to turn her away politely. I felt so awful I couldn’t stand myself… and decided 10 minutes later that this is exactly the opportunity for HUGGGGGGINGGGGG a stranger that I could do! I called her to come back and loaded it into her car. I love you for reminding me to remind myself how good it feels to hug a stranger 🙂 Consider that a hug from me to you!”

Or consider this video posted by another friend on Facebook.

And then HUG MY CANCER; it’s my chemotherapy of choice! Hug anyTHING or anyone (stranger or friend or family or pet or stuffed animal or tree). Get creative. Use your heart & technology and connect! Facebook, Instagram, or your own blog. You with me, me with you. Love grows and expands in mysterious ways. Trust. Believe. You are magic. Now get to concocting your cosmic love potion on me & on us all 😉

Together in one big heart,
xxmm 🙂

Ready to talk about how to feel empowered to survive & thrive on your cancer journey? If you’re interested in shifting some of your own personal stories around health & healing, this optimystical way I see things is my gift—my superpower—that I’d love to share with you. If you feel you’d benefit by it, visit my coaching page for more info.

Little Wonders

Gratitude

When you feel awesome, milk it. Line up all the blessings you can and count each little wonder tenderly!

When you feel awful, acknowledge it. When you feel like you have nothing else, if you look, Gratitude is still here. Helping you to remember, every “right here and now” becomes a “that was then.”

Go to gratitude. Any way, shape or form of it. Just find a way to get there.

Take a walk and look for things to appreciate (it’s what saved me from a window ledge once). Look for something in your life you love that you already have. Go back in time to a memory that brought you amazing joy and re-experience it again.

Building lists: Add 5 gratitudes a day

Today, I’m grateful for these things…

  • A very blue sky. Or a very dark and cloudy one. Both equally worthy of my gratitude and appreciation.
  • A warm hug hello. A sweet kiss goodbye.
  • A space to tell my truth and the willing heart who listens.
  • Warmth. Socks. A full hot bath. My made-for-me blue aphgan. Tea-cupped hands. The heating pad comforting my lower back.

Gratitude. The doorway. The path.

Little Wonders, Rob Thomas

[This is a video post, so you might need to click through if you’re reading this via email or RSS.]

let it go,
let it roll right off your shoulder
don’t you know
the hardest part is over
let it in,
let your clarity define you
in the end
we will only just remember how it feels

our lives are made
in these small hours
these little wonders,
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away,
but these small hours,
these small hours still remain

let it slide,
let your troubles fall behind you
let it shine
until you feel it all around you
and i don’t mind
if it’s me you need to turn to
we’ll get by,
it’s the heart that really matters in the end

our lives are made
in these small hours
these little wonders,
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away,
but these small hours,
these small hours still remain

all of my regret
will wash away some how
but i can not forget
the way i feel right now

in these small hours
these little wonders
these twists & turns of fate
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away but these small hours
these small hours, still remain,
still remain
these little wonders
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away
but these small hours
these little wonders still remain

To Dream of Paradise

December 4, Wonder

Wonder. How did you cultivate a sense of wonder in your life this year? (Author: Jeffrey Davis)

Truth: the only way to cultivate anything, is to put your attention on it. Whatever you focus on, expands. It is the nature of our universe. Whatever we give our attention to, we love, essentially.

Worry or wonder? Mind your mind. We become what we give our attention to.

Today & every day, I notice moments of personal curiosity and places I’ve become especially interested. As I begin noticing more and more moments like this, they expand and time and space open before me. Here is the edge of wonder. A place to enjoy the mysteries of myself, my life, and Love. And to dream of paradise.

Reverb10.com. An annual event and online initiative to reflect on your year and manifest what’s next. The end of the year is an opportunity to reflect on what’s happened, and to send out reverberations for the year ahead. With Reverb10, you can do both!