Band of Wild Horses

Or how to write your ebook or other digital download-y thing.

“The ebook wrote itself,” I said skyping with a client last Thursday afternoon. She had set out to write her free pdf thingy but found that under the pressure to perform, it wasn’t coming. Shifting directions like a nimble entrepreneur does, she decided to go back to basics. Start with her blog. And just write a few posts.

“How about a list of posts that help explain your three main core values… for yourself or your business?” I continued.

My ebook wrote itself. I mean, I didn’t set out to write the book that every woman should pick up before she begins her web presencing journey. That’s not what I had in mind when I sat down to write it.

Not on any day of writing was it ever that.

It became that all on its own… after I trusted & followed the process.

When I wrote, it came from a place where it was super easy to write. It came from my expertise. From the place I safely claim within my own fragile ego, I am an expert. On this particular subject.

That’s why the book wrote itself.

Because my expert “knowing” was in charge of every word I dropped onto the computer screen a letter-at-a-time.

What I did each day to get in the zone, was visualize how I would feel once the body of work was complete. And in orbit.

That’s all I wanted. Was to get to a finish line and then press the launch button.

I like launch buttons. And I enjoy working with my clients in their discomfort around getting ready to launch and all the other stuff that percolates up to the top for clarity and processing. For love. And acceptance.

A beautiful perfect moment of self-realization. Aligned one after another.

Anyway, the finish line. And where I was going 😉

Truly, each day I practiced taking pleasure in being motivated by my own personal success of doing it.

I was also extremely motivated by the idea of not ever doing it again (whatever it is for you). For me, it was web presencing.

A popular end-of-the-year-review question to ask yourself which I share right on the ebook sales page (yes I said sales page without even a flinch of discomfort. That’s what it is.)

… “What if I walked away today? From everything I’ve created or built… how would I want to leave it? What is left unsaid? What wants out? To be seen. Or heard. Or felt?”

Practicing… experiencing the pleasure of my own success before I wrote each day was also a healthy way for my egoic mind to get its rocks off.

I didn’t stay here too long though because the excitement of finishing the book drew me into the “what’s next?” so quickly, I opened Word and found the place that felt the most exciting or fun and began.

That’s how Web Presence Essentials went from a simple List Post and became an ebook. My container for the larger body of work I’ve created on the web, written in my special language of connection. Heart & soul. No longer holding much of anything back.

Why is this important for you to know?

Simple. I trust. Another essential, I tap into daily, to know and love where I am.

Even though my workbook companion thingy isn’t yet finished. I know I will finish it. Soon.

Even though I haven’t written consistently on my blog this year (once a month is probably too little even if consistent), I know I can and will and do… write. All day long.

Even though I’m not yet on a sailboat, it’s gotten so close I can smell it. Which makes me laugh and smile and giddy with joy.

I’m writing this down in a blog post because I trust you want & need to know this.

I trust you’ve got a book or an idea for one or the idea for your free pdf download you’d like to offer people when they subscribe to your email list. And you want to get it done too. Your special stuff. In digital download format. Right?

And I’m sharing this with you because I couldn’t not share it. An old-but-feels-like-new something I’ve learned to recognize, trust and follow.

As I arrived back into my body this morning, ideas & inspiration swirled chaotically in my mind, like the jumbled notes of a musician’s about-to-be-written song. Listening to the sounds of morning, the stillness—inside the house & outside my bedroom window—beckoned.

More thoughts. Followed by realization.

I miss it. I miss writing to you. I feel like I have so much to tell you. To catch up. Catch my breath. To continue connecting & sharing… and creating.

So I rose & did my morning ritual. Trusting the inner call. The inner voice. The creative impulse

… and followed it like band of wild horses.



How To Finish

I’ve got two days to go. Two days until I press publish. Again. This time it’s different. This time, it’s birth & rebirth. More expansion, optimysm. A bigger baby.

Here’s something I’ve learned about myself in this process that I thought might be helpful for you but mostly, selfishly, I want to remind myself for when I do this again.

You’ve got to set a date.

Create a short-term goal. Or you’ll never do it.

Think about your life for a minute. All the times you’ve done something really big. There’s always been some kind of driving force… usually time (a deadline). The boss needs it next week. The client needs it tomorrow. Your kid needs it today!

To do something significant, for yourself—create a web presence, write an ebook—you must commit to it like an athlete commits to achieving Olympic greatness. You must play out your greatness, over and over in your head until eventually you find that you’ve begun living it.

This is not my epic by any means. No illusions of grandeur here. This is a mere sixty pages of sunshine. But it is a step in the direction of my epic. Which means it resonates, gyrates, shakes & shimmies with lots of good vibrations. That I can feel. This is the storytelling place I’ve been hangin’ out in.

Oh & also hanging out in the satisfaction. On the 24th. Oooooooooooo, Sweet Jesus, the satisfaction.

The other thing I remind myself about is… it’s not the content that’s most important. My heart & soul are on those pages. Which is important. To me. Trusting myself. The words. What I got to say. Period. I remind myself of these things each time I open up Word and finish another section.

To finish on the 24th is the win. What happens after the 24th is really none of my business.

The only thing—right here, right now, that matters—is the next step.

What’s left to write, polish & smooth?

Two days to go. And the storytelling continues… “I’m sitting so frickin’ pretty. I’m so so close. It’s nearly done!”

There’s no struggle here. There’s no crazy, “I got so much left to do…” beating myself up. Stressing out and asking my family to re-arrange their lives. Or putting Christmas on hold. They know what I’m doing and support it. But I’ve chosen not to make it a big stressful production out of it.

Instead, I’m basking in how good it feels now. And letting that jettison me right up to the finish line. Knowing full well, it’s never finished. And it won’t be on the 24th.

It’ll be perfect though. It’ll be just what it’s meant and supposed to be.

Like me. Like you. Exactly where we’re supposed to be, doing exactly what we’re supposed to be doing with exactly whom we are supposed to be doing it.

There is enough. Once you begin seeing that, you quickly realize just how much enough there is.

That no one owes anyone anything. And it’s really all up to you.

Business & Alignment

A lot shifts, when you begin focusing on your alignment.

Most times, those shifts are not the ones I expect. Or daydream of. They’re usually beyond what I could imagine dreaming on my own.

My 40-day-alignment series has concluded. I challenged myself to show up more. Here on my blog. To write and share more. I guess to show up more in my life really… when I even thought to choose Alignment as my word for 2011.

40-Days was me, on a major run at getting in alignment. Making it my #1 priority. The best I could. Over “approximately” 40-days-or-so.

The soft deadlines, not knowing each morning what I would write about (I had a rough conceptual outline consisting of 4 bullet points I wished to cover). All on purpose. Intentionally giving myself room, not to try too hard at this. Let it be easy (my 2010 word).

And here we are. A quiet fallow period last week (hat tip to Dian Reid).

Except it hasn’t been quiet, although it may seem that way to you. Behind the scenes, my life is exploding with growth and change that seems all too much to share, even everyday, here on my blog.

One of the biggest changes that happened last week (well really over the process of several weeks and probably longer) is that my focus shifted to my business. It was requested actually. It became increasingly clear to me that I needed to discover greater alignment in my business with the services I offer and what I was charging for them.

So, if you look closely, you’ll see changes in my business. Adjustments that help me feel more in alignment. Certainly on-going and forthcoming in many other areas of my business and life. The nature of everything, really. Change.

Except my change is now guided by this idea about my alignment. About looking forward in my life and thinking about the things that elicit visceral emotional activity within me. The good kind of course. And I’m letting those good feelings guide me to the next step for today.

I can trust the good feelings. I can trust good. I’m still experiencing a bit of resistance here, in the area of trust, so I sort of soothe and appreciate the resistance and bingo, there is a letting go that happens. A shift. A realignment. Simply by softening the resistance. It’s a whole other angle to work and explore if you are deliberately teaching yourself about your alignment like I am.

I’m finding more and more, that alignment for me, is about standing up in my life. It’s about aligning an outer worldly self with my inner being, which is much bigger than my worldly self. It’s the part of me that is also you. It is the we, that is eternity. In that knowing, I’m inspired to stand up.

Stand Up, Dave Matthews Band


Alignment is…

Alignment is an emotional journey.

Two worlds, the outer and the inner. An outer world called reality. It’s live action, here-and-now. It’s as real as real can get. This keyboard I’m typing on, that chair you’re sitting in. My inner world is every thought I think that I don’t (usually) speak. It’s every feeling that each of those unspoken thoughts I think create. A private inner world.

Alignment is the practice of tuning into my inner world, where the evidence of how aligned I am, is how I feel.

It’s not the getting there, it’s the going.

I do not seek alignment in order to get a specific result (get more clients, get the girl/guy to love me, win the lottery). Alignment is for my personal pleasure. It’s tuning to the signal of my pure desire. It’s trust. It’s faith. It’s knowing.

Every thing I’ve ever done or wanted (good & bad) or want right now, is so I can feel better. Always. If I feel good now and learn to do that habitually, what will ever matter again?

Alignment is allowing myself to use my attention to focus on feeling good.

You can be one vibration or two.

What created you and me and everything we see, adores us. ADORES YOU. Every feeling of negative emotion comes from a thought that did not originate from your Source. A split.

Alignment is adoring my self, the way I am adored.

You must teach your self alignment.

Pretty simple & clear. This is gonna be up to me. No one in my life is gonna have to be different than they are. No situation in my life is gonna have to be different than it is. No more waiting for situations or people to change so I can be happy…

Starting now.

Close your eyes. Think of any good thought. A pleasant memory from your past, a hopeful wish for your future. Focus on every detail you can recall or formulate. Think about how it would feel to have any wish you wanted right now…  to be deeply grateful for all of it, and excited for what is coming next because you’ve finally figured this whole thing out… finally! And it was worth it. And it is worth it. Every single step. Every joy. Every heartbreak. Teaching me my alignment.

There. You’re in. This is alignment.

Today, set aside one minute and eight seconds (yes, that’s all it takes and it’s really that easy). Spend time in your inner world at least once today. Formulating the details of your top wish for 2011. Every new place your wish will take you. Each person your wish will bring into your life. All the satisfaction you’ll be experiencing, the great love you feel for your life and towards the people and situations in it and a real eagerness to experience even more. Your purpose is to flow attention & focus (love) outward in appreciation; an anchoring principle you’ll discover as you teach yourself Alignment.

PS. If you’d like to join me on this (40-day-or-so) emotional journey of discovering alignment, be sure to subscribe in the sidebar on the right.


Designing A Vision

Web Designer. It’s a title I hold, that I don’t take too lightly. In fact, my recently dissed inferiority beliefs whisper to me about not being a real one all the time.

Design has so many connotations. I feel sometimes, too small to be included in such a rich and diverse crowd called “Designers.”

But I do know a lot about it. And like any other artist, the way I express it is unique to me. It doesn’t mean I have to know all the ways the art can be expressed in order to express my own. I can still just do my thang.

Last week I talked about the pipeline I first saw in the shower. And if you glance at the photo, it’s pretty easy to see I’m heading into a massive design session with several new clients.

I’m attempting to space things out as much as I can. But I’m not exactly sure what I’m doing at all. I’ve never been this busy with this many design projects at once.

I’ve asked a few new biz ops if they don’t mind waiting until November 1 to begin our optimystical adventure in web presencing themselves. Never done that either. I’m not sure what I was so freaked out about. I guess I was afraid they would say this isn’t a good fit because timelines don’t match and then my habit of taking it personally would get inflamed. Or that, in some way I’m holding out my hand to the universal flow of abundance and saying “stop!” Either way, I sense that whatever I am thinking about, is taking me out of it (a flow of well-being).

And I was pleasantly surprised, when I asked for what I think I needed (time and space between the flow of the projects coming in). I experienced very little resistance really. It had only been my thinking up till now, that had been resistant.

New client says, “OK, I trust you” [insert intentional “sink in” pause here].

I think I need to read that one a few thousand times and let it in… it’s a big deal to hear anyone in your web audience say they trust you. It means whatever they see you doing or saying, they believe is honest and true and genuine. And real. You trust what I’m showing you is who I am.

Jedi: Hello? Mynde! You are doing really really good.

I wondered this morning if I’m not just believing in scarcity again. This time around time and not having enough of it to do what I love AND be happy, well and expansive at once.

So I pondered what I wanted, instead of focusing on what scares me (telling cool people like you, who might be reading this, “I don’t have enough space for you!” …ugh)

What if there was enough time for all of it? And what if, even when there seemed not to be enough time, the people I’m collaborating with understood that too? And showed up relaxed and easy going with it (and when they didn’t, I didn’t give a shit. Not in a mean, uncaring way, but in the “I care more about feeling good, all the time” way?)

And what if  they actually read my 6 Ways to Stay Optimystical During Your Webification Process several times during the process (like I do). To remind myself how to successfully navigate this web presencing path (or any path), kindly, toward self and others?

Oh and what if they got that this web presencing thing isn’t all my responsibility? Like, I just don’t make this happen. It might seem like “Tah-duh!” but it aint’ that way. I promise you.  (And wait, what if I got all that too?) What if each of us really owned our collaborative parts, asking for what we needed, feeling our way through it, with an attitude of friendliness toward it all?

What if when we each noticed uncomfortable, we did something different? We learned how to sit in it a little longer. Or we became curious instead? Or we discovered courage to say it out loud to each other?

And what if in this heavy design phase I’m about to enter with several wonderful “You’s that have already said Yes” I get clearer in my own biz process for what works and what doesn’t? And that scales out in a helpful expansive way so that I’m synchronistically connected to those I’m meant to serve? You. Me. Us. We. Each just showing up?

And what if, I just relaxed a little bit about it all. Trusted myself a bit more. Found the Love that is already here. And wrote more love notes to myself?

It’s a vision. By design.

We all are designers of some kind.

Designing our lives with the thoughts we think about most.

  • Where do your predominant thoughts rest?
  • Do you feel driven by your thoughts?

In my world I envision myself with no more fear of “not enough.” I’m noticing more often, what I’m thinking about and deciding if it truly supports me. I am intentionally choosing to direct my thoughts toward more life affirming visions. And my daily practice is living my life by design.

Jumping Out Of 5-Story Windows

Have you ever wanted to jump out of a 5-story window instead of facing what you know you need to face in order to get back to your best self?

Well I’m there.

It’s been a very long two weeks since I last posted on my blog. Granted, my creative mojo has been focused on designing web presences for a couple of new clients, I’m finding it’s about all the mojo I can muster up. I have none to spare. The cupboard feels empty.

I am grateful that creativity can be alive and well in my world, even when I’m not writing, but I miss it. A lot.

I’ve felt sort of stunted. As if some great force came along and sucked me dry of ideas, inspiration, and the self-confidence to write it down, press publish. I find that I’m with doubt way more than I’m with trust. And I’m excusing so many great post ideas because I just don’t see them as anything of value; worthy of sharing.

And yet I know exactly what is going on and do nothing about it. In fact, it appears I’d rather jump out a 5-story window than do what I need to do in order to reclaim my creative mojo.

It’s a pattern I know all too well.

I say ‘no’ when I want to say ‘yes’ and ‘yes’ when I want to say ‘no.’  It’s about boundaries and standing up for my self, my own truth, without needing to explain it to anybody so they “get it” or stay engaged in the relating process.

It’s about taking the risk to be an outrageous bitch. Something that I don’t step into easily and yet it seems that it’s time to learn how.

I can either live with the uncomfortableness of wanting to jump or being an outrageous bitch. And yet only one of those choices is about saving myself.

So what exactly is going on?

I’m talking specifically about boundaries. And I’ve been realizing lately that I had an expectation (a hope or wish) that using boundaries would easier than it has been.

I have been practicing setting them (saying what I need out loud) with grace and dignity. In the past, this has been my challenge. Not knowing exactly what my boundaries were, so I could say them out loud. I’ve come along way. This much I can acknowledge myself for. Noticing how my body changes. Noticing how my energy dips or crashes. Watching myself behave and react in ways that do not honor myself or the other person I’m having the boundary-challenge with. Noticing that I want it to be different and asking myself later, what can I do differently next time?

Except my issues seem to be with the second piece of healthy boundary setting. What happens when they aren’t honored? What to do when you realize that there is a possibility that it might be impossible for the other to honor them. That their subconscious needs, fueled by their own fears, are the driving force behind the continued dishonoring of simple, straight-forward requests.

A request for silence so I can work. So I can write. So I can be with myself and follow the inspiration and take the chance to write it all down and press publish.

A request for peaceful voices instead of angry frustration, complaining, stories of the past that are repeated over and over.

A request that respects my time instead of the small comments here & there that feel like a manipulation to get me to participate in someone else’s drama, followed by the excuse “I promise to leave you alone after I say this one thing. I know I’m breaking your boundary. I promise I’ll make amends.”

So this post isn’t about words of wisdom that draw you into a nicely formed learning. It’s about saying what is, out loud. Just picking a place to begin writing and tell the story.

I’m beginning to realize that some of the greatest support I offer my clients is the space to say their truth out loud. So they can really hear it. See it. Look at it. Acknowledge where they are. I do not need to do anything else, except listen.

So today, if you are reading this, you are that for me. A safe place to say my truth and trust my process. And consider jumping out of 5 story windows. No matter how irrational it may be.