Am I ready to receive?
I guess I was. Because I got there. I made it to the chair.
Am I where I think I am (reality)?
Would I know it? If I was really there? On the verge of my happily ever after? What does it feel like? What does it sound like? How does one speak from the verge of happily ever after? Do I even believe? Do you believe?
Or am I waiting for my something yet to come?
I’m totally out of breath (isn’t that what happens when we wait, I know I sorta hold my breath, do you?)
Out of breath mostly because I can’t believe what I’m doing and also because I have no idea what I’m doing. I did write it down on my notepad about half hour ago; the theme of the question (I wonder if I’ll really go there?!)
(Breathe. Just keep breathing while they set you up… in the fucking hot chair!! Omg… breath.)
What if it were already here? And I was too?
Ok, we’re on.
Say hello Mynde. Look into her eyes. (Wow, her focus is intense. Her eyes are deep and, actually from where I sit, very dark. Not like, “Ruuuun, boogie maaaan!” Looking into her eyes is like looking into deep space, and in the black edges that would normally be scary, I instead find wonder and curiosity in the depth of its unendedness. I sense eternalness. I sense my own eternalness here, sitting in this plastic chair in front of a room of hundreds with a runny nose from crying earlier and breathy with excitement mixed with uncertainty…
WTF am I going to say?!)
I decide to just start. And I open my mouth and begin…