King of Swords

What is your hurry?

Trust me. Enjoy the moments you have right now. Otherwise, you will have plenty of time in your elder years to regret the time you are not enjoying now.

Why are you so worried and anxious?

This is another area of life I’m familiar with. Life is crumpled up and tossed away on worry and stress. Rule your life with a kingly confidence that all things will work out for you. One way or another, in time, they will.

What is the purpose of your battle?

In all my years, I learned the first and most important battle we must win is the war waged in mind. Once we conquer discrepancy in our thoughts, we can begin to master a time of peace throughout all realms.

My Alive Moment

December 3, Moment

Moment. Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe it in vivid detail (texture, smells, voices, noises, colors). (Author: Ali Edwards)

The most interesting thought I contemplated on this day, was how I might embrace the moments of 2010 that were hard. Grief. Loss. Heartbreak. The ouches.

After scanning my year for some highlight-ey moments, not one of my memories said to me, “Me! Me! I’m the Moment!” So I decided to look at the hard. Because, I guess, I had a few of those this year. I know you did too.

This year, I learned, that in order to have peace, I get to make peace… with where I am, who I am. And that includes the hard. I decided to face, look at, be with it. Instead of… run away or escape into numbness and pushing away from painful feelings.

today, i considered how grief, sadness & overall shitty feelings have [helped] me feel alive & human this year #reverb10

A little friendliness, toward the hard and my alive moment.

Reverb10.com. An annual event and online initiative to reflect on your year and manifest what’s next. The end of the year is an opportunity to reflect on what’s happened, and to send out reverberations for the year ahead. With Reverb10, you can do both!

Void Where Prohibited

It’s been a couple of weeks since I posted. I’ve been into another void of sorts. And I’m happy to say that I’m doing a lot better at loving myself through this one than I did the last time this happened.

What happened? Oh, you know, things are running along smoothly and then bam! You hit tired, or exhausted or anything in between. And this eventually, for me at least, leads to doing nothing. Which is the point that I get now.

But not too long ago I beat myself up for not being able to figure out where the void came from or why the void came… basically fixing the shit outta stuff that’s not broken.

So another void. This time, I’ve turned into self-love sooner. Because I’m recognizing, it is the only thing to remain in absolute steadfast connection with as often as possible. It is the key to everything. All my goodness. All my success. All my joy. All my freedom. It’s in learning to love & accept myself more. With every single situation I encounter in my life.

With this void, I am restructuring a lot of old thinking into new ways of seeing things.

Because, in the end, how I see it, how I see any person or situation, is my choice.

Feeling “at home” with the void

There is a place for voids in my life. I believe this. Six month ago, I needed more external support with that (thank you Charlie, Lee, Lisa & ladies of my Heart of Business Mastermind group). So for today, I’m making peace with where I am right now, because it’s the only way to move forward. Embracing what is.

And what is, is the void. Another one. And there will be another after this one. And as long as I keep loving myself through it at the forefront of the process, the voids are sweet and good and precious moments of recollecting and reassembling myself internally. Leaving behind the stuff that doesn’t fit anymore.  Discovering clarity to move forward with renewed intention.  And conjuring the most positive expectations for what might be next.

Very recently, I had one of those experiences where you read something old and discover something brand new. The famous “In the beginning” quote from the bible came into my consumptive stream (weird, coincidental, or Divinely timed?)… About when it was all first created. One word jumped out of the sentences I read for the 1,000th time. And I had this teensy reconciliatory moment.

We all came from the void. Every new thought or idea, comes from the void. Every artist’s creation comes from the void of creativity itself.

I’ve transformed my view the void. Instead of resisting it, I relax into it now. I trust it and its messages. Messages about slowing down, being still and getting back to my own roots; where my soul is the resource I mine. A space for creating balance so I do not remain lost in my business-only [or insert yours here] pursuits.

I personally believe, cultivating a skill of learning to see situations differently, is vital for shifting our lives out of survival mode and into thriving. It’s one of the main reasons a life coach is hired, to help you cultivate an expanded awareness or re-orientation toward life’s challenges and sore spots (places of vulnerability we protect at any cost and keep hidden from the world).

Learning to work with our challenges and sore spots requires support. And being too stuck in our own perspectives, we cannot do this inner work alone.

If you’re curious and want to know more about learning to see the challenging situations or people in your life differently or would like to discover how your sore spot might actually be a hidden super power (true story!), let’s chat.

Free Coaching – The Learnings

Last week, three people asked me about what I had learned after doing the Free Coaching gig I offered at the end of April.

When three people ask, I know it’s time to write. Not that I’ve been looking for things to write about. That appears to me, in every nook & cranny of my life.

But a bigger, underlying false premise behind what stops me from writing is thinking it’s not valuable, relevant or meaningful enough to share.

And since three are asking, I figured even though it feels weird and funky and foreign… I’m willing to share it through my eyes. The things I learned from giving 30 days of free coaching away…

#1 – Just Do It

Before I did it, I had so much hesitancy. Boat loads of it.

I learned, again, that most of the time (at least 95%) I just need to do it. I just need to begin. To start. To jump. To do it.

There is no more right time than right now.

I went for it. Noticing the hesitancy, but not needing it not to be present in order for me to proceed.

I also faced some fear talking smack. It sounded like, “What if no one shows up? What if no one wants what I’ve got? Or gets what I’m doing?”

Ugh. Painful.

But at some point, I think after experiencing my perception of failing, enough times, I’ve made some kinda new peace with it. I still get totally freaked out about it. But once I get enough room to detach, I’m able to remind myself that making mistakes is a good thing.

And the only failure is in not beginning. Or starting again. As the case may be.

#2 – Getting to ‘Money is off the table’ is total freedom.

This one feels like a long time coming. Not that it has come all the way. But it’s coming nonetheless. Like birth again. I feel lots of things being born within me at this time.

Here’s a big one that clarified during this free coaching biz: the people I want to work with want to pay me.

This started out as me internally getting that when I pay someone, it gives me freedom to ask for everything I want from them. From the experience. A real investment in myself. To just go for it.

I want to work with those kinds of people. Where investments in themselves is something they just do. And have done. For a long, long time.

The people showing up to work with me now, since I did this, ask me to bill them and send them money. Are you kidding?!

Money is completely off the table. So offering anything for free is sorta silly… ?

Not that the people I met and had the pleasure of working/are working with are silly.

But to offer it for free… yeah, no. I’m pretty sure I’ve crossed more fully over into a new space about how I value my self and how that’s connected to me doing business.

What I’m Still Learning

I still think there is space in here for me to clarify how people translate value in the offer itself. We all want a good deal. Or a bargain. Maybe its part of creating a sense of urgency, I’m not sure.

I personally don’t always feel supported by urgency. I like to take at least 24 hours to make important decisions. False urgency is gross. And we’ve felt it when we’ve read it on certain sales pages. The lousy scare tactic. Blegh!

But something did happen when I said out loud, this is the offer. It’s free. It’s for a limited time (and named a few other red velvet rope criteria). Something is happening in there. I’m wondering if there is any value in me trying to understand that further.

I’ll let you know what else bubbles up. If it does. Or maybe go re-read Charlie’s posts on pricing perception and see what sticks this time.

I guess the only other remaining obvious question is Will I do it again?

I’m not sure. I’m not having the urge to do it again. Which doesn’t necessarily mean I shouldn’t or won’t.

Some of the facts… 2 of the 4 people I coached converted to paying clients. Not that that was my sole intention. I was curious. Yes! But I actually just missed coaching and wanted to turn up the coaching side of my life/biz because I missed it.

So I set an intention early on in the process of deciding to do the free coaching gig. I wanted to be coaching my ass off in the month of May. That was my bottom line. Joy is my focus these days. It’s the thing that keeps me going. Coaching is one of the things that brings me a lot of joy. Supporting people to work with fear in a brand new way in their lives inspires me.

Having that intention up front made it easier to remember along the way. And when the trash talk appeared, I found myself more prepared for it. And remembering, “I want to be coaching my ass off in May” had a potent effect on choosing to take another step.

My internal conversation shifted into “Just try it and see what happens.” And I became curious instead of fearing what hasn’t or isn’t happening yet.

Have you thought about offering your thing for free (longer than a free call or session?)

I’d love to hear from you in the comments. Or if you any other specific questions for me…