You Get To Choose

… and what you choose is right.”

So much seems to have spun out of control during the month of March. The astrological directive with Uranus changing signs and returning after 84-years to what’s referred to as the Aries point… Aries being the beginning. Think about the essence of “And God said, Let there be Light!” It’s big-time birthing energy. It’s spring and Aries energy contains the promise of renewal.

Uranus shakes things up. Status quo being it’s mortal enemy. We must go with any changes that unfold at this time… no matter how shocking or strange. For at the end of what feels chaotic and uncomfortable, will be a new found freedom to express greater autonomy. One that celebrates our individual uniqueness. And the underlying principle of an expanding universe… diversity.

Since landing my ass in Abraham’s hot seat in San Diego on March 5th (and I think also because I put myself, rather unknowingly, on a certain trajectory once I choose to focus on 40 Days of Alignment) combined with some rather powerful astrological personal transits I’m experiencing… many things are shifting.

Ringing in my ears, I hear a friend sharing his own experience. He’s saying that if he had known where he was going before he went, he wouldn’t have gone. Or something like that. Actually, I don’t think that’s quite right… it feels disempowering. But I think you get it.

Maybe it’s about knowing the plan. And recognizing our need to sort it all out, in our heads first. Or at least, as much as we can.

If we knew what the entire plan involved, we would have never set out on the journey. Mostly thinking some of the steps involved were out of reach and sometimes impossible for us to even consider (conscious vs. unconscious).

Letting go of the need to plan. The need to know, in that way at least. To know because you have a plan (tangled up with attachments to certain outcomes) versus to know because you are certain things are always working out for your good.

Two different angles here.

Or launching points you’ll here me say. Because the point from which you launch off into anything, matters beyond what you may have ever considered before.

I discovered just how much leverage is in this juicy tid-bit when I decided to find alignment to my physical body’s well-being last fall. For nearly the last 30 years or so, my inner languaging about it has sounded completely different and very disempowering. It went, “I hate this roll on my belly.” Or sometimes, “She can’t be a size 10, I’m going to climb on that fuckin’ elliptical and turn my face red for I-don’t-care-how-long-it-takes…”

You get the drift. I know you do. Because it sounds like you too.

Leverage. It’s so important. I first heard the rich guy with terrible hair who has a TV show talk about it in his book. Of course, he was talking about financial leverage. But he honed or polished or sharpened my idea about the concept of leverage. And now I see it everywhere in my life.

Anyway, I started talking about my toasted ass, in the hot seat. And Abe did toast me. Being the wonderful teacher they are, they graciously played with me, in that teasing way they do, to illustrate a very fine but so-important-for-me-to-see point about language.

The power of our words. How we assemble them as we talk about our life. And I got my ass busted is what happened. Thankfully, getting your ass toasted or busted is easier while you are simultaneously laughing it off.

We went into several places during the conversation. I am still allowing it all in, and watching beliefs crumble and dissolve right before my eyes. Scary and exhilarating. And still later, more new thoughts and ideas swirl around my consciousness… some parts of it more new and recently awakened… and others still in the process of awakening.

Everyday. I find I awaken more. With each new day, what is within me calls again. Like it always has. Like it always will. In a disguise so simple, that my hard, plan-y way of doing it would have never considered the possibility of it.

So for now, until I do the full blown, here-I-am-in-all-my-nakedness with first, a room of at least 600 people and then, all of you.

I want to wait to share the audio track with you. I want to process it more and write about it. Because it’s been so juicy. So so juicy. And trust me, it’s also been terribly uncomfortable as well. I’ve thought, at times, I might be punishing myself for getting into the chair. Like, I get a super-duper high and so toss myself out for a super-duper low. I really don’t know anymore. I sorta gave up caring about figuring any of it out about 24 hours ago. No shit. True story.

I’ve decided to stop justifying or explaining my position. And to tell the truth more. MY truth… about more of the things in the “I want” category that float around unspoken within me. The places I’ve withheld and hold back… thinking to myself, I can’t or it’s not right or it goes against… blah blah blah!

“You get to choose… and what you choose is right!”

And here I am. Here we are.

My track on the Abraham workshop recording is called “Freedom-seeking lady seeks lots of lovers…”

But it’s probably not what you think.

In fact, in my conversation with Abe, they point out, it’s probably not even what I think… meaning knowing what I really want, is often times unclear. And it doesn’t really matter. Because once I get to the place where the desire of wanting is satisfied (however the details of that are delivered), there will be a new desire created out of that understanding.

A new vantage point from which to leverage the rhythm of expansion.

After watching this video last night and again this morning, I was inspired to write this post. The video’s message pretty much encapsulates how I feel (at least for now) and why I asked the question I asked, when I got to the hot seat and Abraham spoke with “the freedom-seeking lady who wants lots of lovers.”

To Dream of Paradise

December 4, Wonder

Wonder. How did you cultivate a sense of wonder in your life this year? (Author: Jeffrey Davis)

Truth: the only way to cultivate anything, is to put your attention on it. Whatever you focus on, expands. It is the nature of our universe. Whatever we give our attention to, we love, essentially.

Worry or wonder? Mind your mind. We become what we give our attention to.

Today & every day, I notice moments of personal curiosity and places I’ve become especially interested. As I begin noticing more and more moments like this, they expand and time and space open before me. Here is the edge of wonder. A place to enjoy the mysteries of myself, my life, and Love. And to dream of paradise.

Reverb10.com. An annual event and online initiative to reflect on your year and manifest what’s next. The end of the year is an opportunity to reflect on what’s happened, and to send out reverberations for the year ahead. With Reverb10, you can do both!

Leveraging Joy

I got some feedback from clients, when I shared out loud about the fear and anxiety I have around managing my business growth and expansion. Specifically, having more clients than I think I have the time and energy to support.

Being too full or too busy to serve each of you well. Being concerned for my own well being. Wanting to get clear on what makes me really happy with what I’m doing, so I can focus on doing more of that. And asking for/getting support with the other pieces.

I said my fear and then a few of you said your own.

A long time client asked me if I could see myself continuing to support her ongoing web walk. And expressed her own fear and disappointment at having to “begin again” with someone new (say if I decided to outsource the VA part of my biz).

My inner being (aka, the Jedi) responded with “life is full of begin-again’s,” it’s the one thing for sure we can count on.

And it’s better that we learn to embrace them and welcome them. My resistance or resistant thinking about begin-again’s is what’s painful for me. I’m suffering now, for something that isn’t even happening.

Another client bravely admitted, saying out loud during a design session, that she was hiding behind the pictures. Or broader, hiding her web presence message behind concerns and specifics of her look and feel. That somehow, focusing on which photo or using many photos, was a cover up! That the true essence of who she is would not be in a picture. It would be in the risk of showing up everyday. Writing a post. Creating something new for her business. Working with her clients.

I held my hand up in solidarity with her.

It’s been a few weeks since I arrived at “my practice feels full.” A good problem to have.

And since I’ve been receiving your generous (and sometimes brave) feedback, I wanted to share with you what’s unfolded; my new reality. Since the here-and-now is so fleeting anyway. A jumping-off point. Toward another begin-again.

And I really believe in sharing our processes, together. The expansive parts of it as well as the challenging. I find greater self-acceptance and self-approval when I read about how others are challenged and what they did to rise above, or sit still as it may be, when arrows are being flung.

In my experience of thinking I may not have enough time and energy, before it’s even happened, I choose to suffer for a future event now. I’ve figured out that the only way through a hard time is with gentleness as my companion. Finding a path of least resistance means following easy. When I do, I find access to self-compassion and lovingly return to the present moment.

Returning to the present moment is choosing alignment.

And from the present moment, where there is enough time, and so much to be grateful for… a six-week-old stray kitten that is re-orienting itself to a human home, beautiful sunrises through my office window each morning as I sit down to do my thang… MY thang. Not someone else’s. Joy.

And with joy, an incredible leverage in everything I choose to do.

A mysterious time warp where there is an expansion or lengthening of time and an increased energy within myself to participate. Where I do more with less. I cover much more territory. It’s working smarter, not harder.

More remarkable, is that by choosing alignment first, more things on my plate cooperate with my joy. My clients show up easy, relaxed, and open to the process. I find time, yes, time is expanded and created for me so I can work on the launch of my next creative project (the video library) or write my heart out in a blog post.

Out of alignment is worried for what’s next. Alignment is everything is right on track and unfolding perfectly.

It’s making peace with what-is, so I can shift into anticipation for what’s to come. A shift out of fear and into freedom.

Designing A Vision

Web Designer. It’s a title I hold, that I don’t take too lightly. In fact, my recently dissed inferiority beliefs whisper to me about not being a real one all the time.

Design has so many connotations. I feel sometimes, too small to be included in such a rich and diverse crowd called “Designers.”

But I do know a lot about it. And like any other artist, the way I express it is unique to me. It doesn’t mean I have to know all the ways the art can be expressed in order to express my own. I can still just do my thang.

Last week I talked about the pipeline I first saw in the shower. And if you glance at the photo, it’s pretty easy to see I’m heading into a massive design session with several new clients.

I’m attempting to space things out as much as I can. But I’m not exactly sure what I’m doing at all. I’ve never been this busy with this many design projects at once.

I’ve asked a few new biz ops if they don’t mind waiting until November 1 to begin our optimystical adventure in web presencing themselves. Never done that either. I’m not sure what I was so freaked out about. I guess I was afraid they would say this isn’t a good fit because timelines don’t match and then my habit of taking it personally would get inflamed. Or that, in some way I’m holding out my hand to the universal flow of abundance and saying “stop!” Either way, I sense that whatever I am thinking about, is taking me out of it (a flow of well-being).

And I was pleasantly surprised, when I asked for what I think I needed (time and space between the flow of the projects coming in). I experienced very little resistance really. It had only been my thinking up till now, that had been resistant.

New client says, “OK, I trust you” [insert intentional “sink in” pause here].

I think I need to read that one a few thousand times and let it in… it’s a big deal to hear anyone in your web audience say they trust you. It means whatever they see you doing or saying, they believe is honest and true and genuine. And real. You trust what I’m showing you is who I am.

Jedi: Hello? Mynde! You are doing really really good.

I wondered this morning if I’m not just believing in scarcity again. This time around time and not having enough of it to do what I love AND be happy, well and expansive at once.

So I pondered what I wanted, instead of focusing on what scares me (telling cool people like you, who might be reading this, “I don’t have enough space for you!” …ugh)

What if there was enough time for all of it? And what if, even when there seemed not to be enough time, the people I’m collaborating with understood that too? And showed up relaxed and easy going with it (and when they didn’t, I didn’t give a shit. Not in a mean, uncaring way, but in the “I care more about feeling good, all the time” way?)

And what if  they actually read my 6 Ways to Stay Optimystical During Your Webification Process several times during the process (like I do). To remind myself how to successfully navigate this web presencing path (or any path), kindly, toward self and others?

Oh and what if they got that this web presencing thing isn’t all my responsibility? Like, I just don’t make this happen. It might seem like “Tah-duh!” but it aint’ that way. I promise you.  (And wait, what if I got all that too?) What if each of us really owned our collaborative parts, asking for what we needed, feeling our way through it, with an attitude of friendliness toward it all?

What if when we each noticed uncomfortable, we did something different? We learned how to sit in it a little longer. Or we became curious instead? Or we discovered courage to say it out loud to each other?

And what if in this heavy design phase I’m about to enter with several wonderful “You’s that have already said Yes” I get clearer in my own biz process for what works and what doesn’t? And that scales out in a helpful expansive way so that I’m synchronistically connected to those I’m meant to serve? You. Me. Us. We. Each just showing up?

And what if, I just relaxed a little bit about it all. Trusted myself a bit more. Found the Love that is already here. And wrote more love notes to myself?

It’s a vision. By design.

We all are designers of some kind.

Designing our lives with the thoughts we think about most.

  • Where do your predominant thoughts rest?
  • Do you feel driven by your thoughts?

In my world I envision myself with no more fear of “not enough.” I’m noticing more often, what I’m thinking about and deciding if it truly supports me. I am intentionally choosing to direct my thoughts toward more life affirming visions. And my daily practice is living my life by design.