If you’re in my inner circle, you know, what’s been going down with my sailboat plans.
Which is this… I don’t know shit.
And I am in the dark, as much as you.
All you need to know (and that I keep reminding myself) is that I have a dream. And I happen to believe that if I can think it, the means to create & fulfill it are freely available to help the dream take shape and become a physical reality.
The Death of a Dreamer
Steve Jobs. Here’s what I think when I think about him.
To do things differently. To stand outside one of your normal tribes. Whatever tribe you belong to at the moment. Just pick one.
Believing before we know all the facts. Believing whatever we need to believe, moment-by-moment, and then simply taking the next step.
Instead of worrying about step number 325.
Where, in your life, do you let step 325 take over? Going on auto-pilot from living your dream because you can’t figure out what you’re not supposed to know yet?
Trusting. First something. Anything. The great mystery. Ultimately though, learning it all pivots on trusting yourself.
To stop kicking your own ass. To start loving the living day lights outta life beginning the moment you open your eyes in the morning.
To fuck it up. And be ok with that.
Or give yourself the time you need to find your way back, however that looks.
To have a plan. A hope. An ideal. A dream. And completely let go of it.
Trusting the process of transformation. That that is your essential nature.
To laugh again. Because you’re realizing one more time that it never turns out the way you thought it would. Or plan it. Never.
What happens is usually better.
I am a dreamer. Born to dream. And make manifest.
Which is the part I think we’re missing. Kinda lost in our peripheral vision. Until we’re reminded (thank you Steve) we’re here to do more than dream it.
It’s the life you create. It only starts with the dream. And then moment-by-moment, with some focus, and tender loving time & attention, we choose.
The next step.
You do what’s easy. What feels natural. Reminding yourself to say thank you to each step. Thank you to everything.
To need only ever look back at the past to bless it and say thank you to it.
I came to live my dream. Not just dream it.
Living the dream is taking Today’s next step. Maybe a couple or even a few. But mostly, just what’s next.
Living the dream is trusting that I know enough for today’s steps and I’m content in any uncertainty that’s left.
Living the dream is the practice of remembering who am I.
A thinker. A be-er. An enjoyer.
A knower… that it’s all for me. Trusting.
There is no sailboat yet. There are many sailboats all around me though. And very soon, it will be the next step.
For today, the next step is to downsize. To be ready to go. To act in faith.
It’s trusting my heart. Trusting intuitively how it feels when I dream the dream. Trusting myself to pivot out of each uncomfortable moment.
To be patient with myself. And kind. In the process.
In about a week, I’m letting go of my accumulated possessions that make up my 3-bedroom condo in Orange County, California; consolidating, minimizing into a bedroom & a bathroom.
Since the universe is conspiring to help me achieve this dream, it turns out that my first ex-husband sits in a large empty home after being wiped out by his second wife (yes, it’s one of those stories).
So now most my living room, my daughter’s bedroom, my dining room and most of the kitchen stuff has a custodian. This makes me very happy.
Or, how I looked at my 8 boxes of books, CDs and DVDs that I no longer wanted and wished that they go someplace useful and then learn about the breast cancer book drive donation box that arrived in the lobby of my girlfriend’s office building this week.
Or, while finishing up this post, hopping up in a mad dash hearing the street sweeper outside, remembering that my car (usually in the garage which is cleared out as a moving staging area) is parked on the street! Opening the garage door, I see the street sweeper is stopped behind my parked car, with street sweeper police truck directly behind him and I think “Crap! I’m too late!” The street sweeper driver looks at me, nods and points to my car. And I run across the street in my jammies & slippers, hop in and take the miata for a spin around the block, counting my blessings and screaming “Yes!!” at the top of my lungs, “I can see you conspiring with me Universe. I can see you!!!” And avoiding a ticket.
So much more. Around every corner it seems. Right down to learning last night of Steve’s passing. Thinking the thoughts I thought about that. Watching the impact on my world. Watching how the word dream and dreamer are being elevated in the conversation.
Joining in on that conversation, sharing my dream, with you here on my blog. And taking Today’s next steps to align with it.
Loosely paraphrasing something I heard from Steve… or somewhere in my conspiring Universe…
If you died tonight, would you be happy about the things you accomplished today? About the items that make up your to-do list and what you checked off?
Yeah, that’s what contentment feels like. And, living your dream.