You Get To Choose

… and what you choose is right.”

So much seems to have spun out of control during the month of March. The astrological directive with Uranus changing signs and returning after 84-years to what’s referred to as the Aries point… Aries being the beginning. Think about the essence of “And God said, Let there be Light!” It’s big-time birthing energy. It’s spring and Aries energy contains the promise of renewal.

Uranus shakes things up. Status quo being it’s mortal enemy. We must go with any changes that unfold at this time… no matter how shocking or strange. For at the end of what feels chaotic and uncomfortable, will be a new found freedom to express greater autonomy. One that celebrates our individual uniqueness. And the underlying principle of an expanding universe… diversity.

Since landing my ass in Abraham’s hot seat in San Diego on March 5th (and I think also because I put myself, rather unknowingly, on a certain trajectory once I choose to focus on 40 Days of Alignment) combined with some rather powerful astrological personal transits I’m experiencing… many things are shifting.

Ringing in my ears, I hear a friend sharing his own experience. He’s saying that if he had known where he was going before he went, he wouldn’t have gone. Or something like that. Actually, I don’t think that’s quite right… it feels disempowering. But I think you get it.

Maybe it’s about knowing the plan. And recognizing our need to sort it all out, in our heads first. Or at least, as much as we can.

If we knew what the entire plan involved, we would have never set out on the journey. Mostly thinking some of the steps involved were out of reach and sometimes impossible for us to even consider (conscious vs. unconscious).

Letting go of the need to plan. The need to know, in that way at least. To know because you have a plan (tangled up with attachments to certain outcomes) versus to know because you are certain things are always working out for your good.

Two different angles here.

Or launching points you’ll here me say. Because the point from which you launch off into anything, matters beyond what you may have ever considered before.

I discovered just how much leverage is in this juicy tid-bit when I decided to find alignment to my physical body’s well-being last fall. For nearly the last 30 years or so, my inner languaging about it has sounded completely different and very disempowering. It went, “I hate this roll on my belly.” Or sometimes, “She can’t be a size 10, I’m going to climb on that fuckin’ elliptical and turn my face red for I-don’t-care-how-long-it-takes…”

You get the drift. I know you do. Because it sounds like you too.

Leverage. It’s so important. I first heard the rich guy with terrible hair who has a TV show talk about it in his book. Of course, he was talking about financial leverage. But he honed or polished or sharpened my idea about the concept of leverage. And now I see it everywhere in my life.

Anyway, I started talking about my toasted ass, in the hot seat. And Abe did toast me. Being the wonderful teacher they are, they graciously played with me, in that teasing way they do, to illustrate a very fine but so-important-for-me-to-see point about language.

The power of our words. How we assemble them as we talk about our life. And I got my ass busted is what happened. Thankfully, getting your ass toasted or busted is easier while you are simultaneously laughing it off.

We went into several places during the conversation. I am still allowing it all in, and watching beliefs crumble and dissolve right before my eyes. Scary and exhilarating. And still later, more new thoughts and ideas swirl around my consciousness… some parts of it more new and recently awakened… and others still in the process of awakening.

Everyday. I find I awaken more. With each new day, what is within me calls again. Like it always has. Like it always will. In a disguise so simple, that my hard, plan-y way of doing it would have never considered the possibility of it.

So for now, until I do the full blown, here-I-am-in-all-my-nakedness with first, a room of at least 600 people and then, all of you.

I want to wait to share the audio track with you. I want to process it more and write about it. Because it’s been so juicy. So so juicy. And trust me, it’s also been terribly uncomfortable as well. I’ve thought, at times, I might be punishing myself for getting into the chair. Like, I get a super-duper high and so toss myself out for a super-duper low. I really don’t know anymore. I sorta gave up caring about figuring any of it out about 24 hours ago. No shit. True story.

I’ve decided to stop justifying or explaining my position. And to tell the truth more. MY truth… about more of the things in the “I want” category that float around unspoken within me. The places I’ve withheld and hold back… thinking to myself, I can’t or it’s not right or it goes against… blah blah blah!

“You get to choose… and what you choose is right!”

And here I am. Here we are.

My track on the Abraham workshop recording is called “Freedom-seeking lady seeks lots of lovers…”

But it’s probably not what you think.

In fact, in my conversation with Abe, they point out, it’s probably not even what I think… meaning knowing what I really want, is often times unclear. And it doesn’t really matter. Because once I get to the place where the desire of wanting is satisfied (however the details of that are delivered), there will be a new desire created out of that understanding.

A new vantage point from which to leverage the rhythm of expansion.

After watching this video last night and again this morning, I was inspired to write this post. The video’s message pretty much encapsulates how I feel (at least for now) and why I asked the question I asked, when I got to the hot seat and Abraham spoke with “the freedom-seeking lady who wants lots of lovers.”