Gonna Give You My Love

Monday night at the Hollywood Bowl, one thing I heard over and over from all three musical artists was about living your dreams.

That they were living theirs. And to believe in my own.

Dreams are meant to be lived. Abraham says that if we can desire it, the Universe can produce it.

The economic downturn that began almost immediately after I jumped the Corporate-America ship taught me about what I really need to be happy.

Even after many of us lost so much, we are still here. Some have decidedly learned how to be happy, despite those losses. Some are still stuck in the fear and scarcity that there isn’t enough to go around.

Everything come and goes. Love. Money. Grief & loss. And life also.

I am learning to be a careful attendant of my present moment. Awake & aware. In these moments, I hear my life speaking to me. In almost every one, if you listen, you’ll hear & see what it wants to show you.

Monday night, in between the heart-felt messages of gratitude from these amazing & musically gifted artists, I listened.

My skin burned and my throat tightened as I felt the rush of emotion erupt from deep inside me. From deep within a dream.

Reminding me what I’m here to do. In tiny bits and pieces. One poignant phrase after another.

When I was 15 years old, my dad taught me to sail. I’ve dreamt of living onboard a boat and sailing around the world. And it’s what’s next for me.

My girlfriend and I will be letting go of everything. Our rented condo. Most of our possessions. We are not concerned about what we will do when we get back. Where we’ll live. Money. Not even which boat we’ll be on… our own or on a strangers, as part of their crew.

How can I be so sure, with so much uncertainty?

Well along with paying close attention to my present moments, I’ve also got my eyes on the stars. In early October, the transiting north node will hit my Mars. Deposited in the world-traveling sign of Sagittarius at the moment I took my first breath, I was born for adventure.

The nodes of the Moon provide insight around the timing of events and helps to pinpoint with more detail the particulars of an event. The North Node of the Moon, both in the natal (birth) horoscope and in its transit provides a positive influx of energy and power.

Mars represents how you go after what you want, your drive and energy to be active, your sexual and aggressive urges, initiative, motivation, courage, combativeness, struggle and war. It is the energy behind your feelings, whatever they are, and thus represents passion.

Mars with the nodes is the most dynamic for action of any other planet. Mars with the nodes give the courage to follow through on new ideas, striking out on one’s own, and there is more of a tendency to take risks.

Excerpt from Lunar Nodes by Celeste Teal

I’ve felt for a long while something was brewing. About 15 years ago, I was told I would travel to Australia and live out the later part of my years there. Hard to believe then. Today, not nearly as much.

Life and its surprises. This is mine. In the form of an extended leave of absence. I’ve spoken to many of you already in my inner circle, whether you’re a client or friend. There’s more to come. More surprises. More adventure. More life I want to live.

I’m discovering through each challenge & each celebration, my life is an adventure in learning to love me most. To trust that everything I need or want, is here already. To faithfully listen and follow.

On Monday night, Train covered this classic Led Zeppelin tune. Awake & aware, receiving fully, life delivered another message to me. From deep within a dream.

Thanks to you, I’m much obliged for such a pleasant stay
but now it’s time for me to go, the autumn moon lights my way


The Verge Of Happily Ever After

Am I ready to receive?

I guess I was. Because I got there. I made it to the chair.

Am I where I think I am (reality)?

Would I know it? If I was really there? On the verge of my happily ever after? What does it feel like? What does it sound like? How does one speak from the verge of happily ever after? Do I even believe? Do you believe?

Or am I waiting for my something yet to come?

I’m totally out of breath (isn’t that what happens when we wait, I know I sorta hold my breath, do you?)

Out of breath mostly because I can’t believe what I’m doing and also because I have no idea what I’m doing. I did write it down on my notepad about half hour ago; the theme of the question (I wonder if I’ll really go there?!)

(Breathe. Just keep breathing while they set you up… in the fucking hot chair!! Omg… breath.)

What if it were already here? And I was too?

Ok, we’re on.

Say hello Mynde. Look into her eyes. (Wow, her focus is intense. Her eyes are deep and, actually from where I sit, very dark. Not like, “Ruuuun, boogie maaaan!” Looking into her eyes is like looking into deep space, and in the black edges that would normally be scary, I instead find wonder and curiosity in the depth of its unendedness. I sense eternalness. I sense my own eternalness here, sitting in this plastic chair in front of a room of hundreds with a runny nose from crying earlier and breathy with excitement mixed with uncertainty…

WTF am I going to say?!)

I decide to just start. And I open my mouth and begin…

How I Got To The Hot Seat

I want to tell you the story about how I got into the hot seat this past March. I’ve been really into telling stories lately. In fact, I’m sorta camped out there right now. Which can only mean, this (storytelling) must be a big deal for me.

Making it up ‘Good’

One reason I tell stories, is to help myself feel better about a situation. Many years ago, in my Fearless Living training to become a coach, I heard from mentors and the creator of the program to “make it up good!”

Rhonda uses humor in a beautiful way, that helps me open my heart when I’m doing something I’ve presumed would be hard… like lookin’ at your personal shizzle and ironing some of the kinks out so you feel better. So you feeeel like makin’ love (really, this isn’t a post about sex, and neither was my question for Abe even though it might first appear that way).

Instead of planning for the worse case, which is what we’ve sorta been taught our whole lives to do; what to look out for and how to stay safe, she’d say, “If you are gonna make stuff up, might as well make it up good!”

So before I got to the chair, I told myself a very vivid story. I know the power of my imagination and I had specifically avoided telling myself a detailed story of a visit with Abraham because I wanted to really feel I was ready. Usually, I just glossed over it. Knowing that one day, I would go. But most days wasn’t going to be that day. Even days I attended a workshop wouldn’t be my day. Interestingly enough, it was the person-sitting-beside-me’s turn, which I talk about here.

The night before the workshop, I lay in bed, doing my usual nightly ritual (hopefully not so completely exhausted that I remember to do my nightly ritual). I’ve been using the mediation CD day & night, very consistently, since January. I sometimes listen to a few YouTube videos before bed instead. Anyway, my nightly ritual goes something like this:

An evening ritual of Making It Up ‘Good’

  • get a little high on Abe, somehow/someway (mediation CD/YouTube video)
  • think about how delicious my bed feels, when I first get in it and thank the living shit out of that, thank the universe that I know exactly what good feels like, it feels like this moment right now, when I first climb into bed.
  • Next, I’ll intend to have the most amazing sleep ever.
  • I’ll intend to wake feeling refreshed, rejuvenated and totally f’n crazy-excited about my day, what/who/how… all of it blessed, now!
  • I’ll intend that I’ll immediately remember, even before rising from bed tomorrow morning, that when I open my eyes, to return to this feeling right now. To recapture this wave and begin from here.
  • Here is the place, where if you know of specific events that will be happening in your life, you can intend for their successful conclusions based on the good of all concerned or just fall asleep (if you haven’t already, lol) …
  • For me, I decided to do segment intending or pre-pave my trip to the chair tomorrow by going there now. And so I did and I ended up chatting with Abraham.

Yes, I did say chatting with Abraham

And I did. And I noted that Abraham wasn’t quite as funny without Esther there. Still very funny though. And I had this complete visualization of coming up to the chair, and feeling relaxed and comfortable. And that we would laugh and have fun. And it would be as easy as this chat right now is. And it was satisfying. And tomorrow would be satisfying also. And I reflected a moment on how I would feel… overjoyed that I showed myself my own power of intention by getting to the chair. And I remember seeing my friend’s face as I sat down beside her after visiting with Abraham in the visualization.

There was amazing power I felt that was imbued into this story I was telling because I chose to add something simple and easy for myself to visualize, like the familiarity of a friend’s face… anything easy is really good ju-ju. We can throw ourselves out of the vortex very quickly with going too detailed so this is practice! I picture the hummingbird, how she flows easily, effortlessly and with intention over and around the themes in my “make it up good” stories. Down deep into detail and them hovering above, in just the simple feel goodedness of the being the storyteller and making this my creation!)

And then I opened my eyes. I smiled. And I thought, I was just joking around with Abraham about getting my ass in that chair tomorrow. That was fun. Easy. I further intended, I’m going to stay relaxed about it all. Tomorrow I will know what other processes to use to support myself (and I did and it was easy, really it became easier as I let go and trusted this had already happened because technically, it just had!)

What was not easy (surprisingly) was being in the chair.

For now, check out this conversation with Abraham to understand more why I’m writing about this now even though the general topic of “the chair” has been on my list since March <sheepish grin>.

Till soon,



You Get To Choose

… and what you choose is right.”

So much seems to have spun out of control during the month of March. The astrological directive with Uranus changing signs and returning after 84-years to what’s referred to as the Aries point… Aries being the beginning. Think about the essence of “And God said, Let there be Light!” It’s big-time birthing energy. It’s spring and Aries energy contains the promise of renewal.

Uranus shakes things up. Status quo being it’s mortal enemy. We must go with any changes that unfold at this time… no matter how shocking or strange. For at the end of what feels chaotic and uncomfortable, will be a new found freedom to express greater autonomy. One that celebrates our individual uniqueness. And the underlying principle of an expanding universe… diversity.

Since landing my ass in Abraham’s hot seat in San Diego on March 5th (and I think also because I put myself, rather unknowingly, on a certain trajectory once I choose to focus on 40 Days of Alignment) combined with some rather powerful astrological personal transits I’m experiencing… many things are shifting.

Ringing in my ears, I hear a friend sharing his own experience. He’s saying that if he had known where he was going before he went, he wouldn’t have gone. Or something like that. Actually, I don’t think that’s quite right… it feels disempowering. But I think you get it.

Maybe it’s about knowing the plan. And recognizing our need to sort it all out, in our heads first. Or at least, as much as we can.

If we knew what the entire plan involved, we would have never set out on the journey. Mostly thinking some of the steps involved were out of reach and sometimes impossible for us to even consider (conscious vs. unconscious).

Letting go of the need to plan. The need to know, in that way at least. To know because you have a plan (tangled up with attachments to certain outcomes) versus to know because you are certain things are always working out for your good.

Two different angles here.

Or launching points you’ll here me say. Because the point from which you launch off into anything, matters beyond what you may have ever considered before.

I discovered just how much leverage is in this juicy tid-bit when I decided to find alignment to my physical body’s well-being last fall. For nearly the last 30 years or so, my inner languaging about it has sounded completely different and very disempowering. It went, “I hate this roll on my belly.” Or sometimes, “She can’t be a size 10, I’m going to climb on that fuckin’ elliptical and turn my face red for I-don’t-care-how-long-it-takes…”

You get the drift. I know you do. Because it sounds like you too.

Leverage. It’s so important. I first heard the rich guy with terrible hair who has a TV show talk about it in his book. Of course, he was talking about financial leverage. But he honed or polished or sharpened my idea about the concept of leverage. And now I see it everywhere in my life.

Anyway, I started talking about my toasted ass, in the hot seat. And Abe did toast me. Being the wonderful teacher they are, they graciously played with me, in that teasing way they do, to illustrate a very fine but so-important-for-me-to-see point about language.

The power of our words. How we assemble them as we talk about our life. And I got my ass busted is what happened. Thankfully, getting your ass toasted or busted is easier while you are simultaneously laughing it off.

We went into several places during the conversation. I am still allowing it all in, and watching beliefs crumble and dissolve right before my eyes. Scary and exhilarating. And still later, more new thoughts and ideas swirl around my consciousness… some parts of it more new and recently awakened… and others still in the process of awakening.

Everyday. I find I awaken more. With each new day, what is within me calls again. Like it always has. Like it always will. In a disguise so simple, that my hard, plan-y way of doing it would have never considered the possibility of it.

So for now, until I do the full blown, here-I-am-in-all-my-nakedness with first, a room of at least 600 people and then, all of you.

I want to wait to share the audio track with you. I want to process it more and write about it. Because it’s been so juicy. So so juicy. And trust me, it’s also been terribly uncomfortable as well. I’ve thought, at times, I might be punishing myself for getting into the chair. Like, I get a super-duper high and so toss myself out for a super-duper low. I really don’t know anymore. I sorta gave up caring about figuring any of it out about 24 hours ago. No shit. True story.

I’ve decided to stop justifying or explaining my position. And to tell the truth more. MY truth… about more of the things in the “I want” category that float around unspoken within me. The places I’ve withheld and hold back… thinking to myself, I can’t or it’s not right or it goes against… blah blah blah!

“You get to choose… and what you choose is right!”

And here I am. Here we are.

My track on the Abraham workshop recording is called “Freedom-seeking lady seeks lots of lovers…”

But it’s probably not what you think.

In fact, in my conversation with Abe, they point out, it’s probably not even what I think… meaning knowing what I really want, is often times unclear. And it doesn’t really matter. Because once I get to the place where the desire of wanting is satisfied (however the details of that are delivered), there will be a new desire created out of that understanding.

A new vantage point from which to leverage the rhythm of expansion.

After watching this video last night and again this morning, I was inspired to write this post. The video’s message pretty much encapsulates how I feel (at least for now) and why I asked the question I asked, when I got to the hot seat and Abraham spoke with “the freedom-seeking lady who wants lots of lovers.”

Getting In Line With Your New Story

Abraham calls it Lists of Positive Aspects. Making a book, to hold the place where you are telling yourself new stories about how you want it to be. So you can get in line with those stories now.  One bullet-point at a time.

Telling new stories is another kind of process, or skill. It’s hard sometimes though to begin even thinking about the details of what that would be, when you are in the vibrational slumps of slow-your-mojo. What I need to think about to help myself, is no where to be found.

So I make the step smaller. Telling the new story is too big of a jump from where I am… There is an ease and relief in that decision alone.

List building is my smaller step. No matter where I am or what I’m doing, I can make lists. Even standing in line at the store behind the woman writing a check when I’m already late for something important.

I shared the bidnizzy tip of creating a list of positive aspects about your perfect client (and future clients). Here’s another one about using that list once you create it, especially if you are like me and a lot of my clients when we first started out blaaaaaahging or running our own online bizes, you are nervous! And you wonder if you have anything to write about, that is interesting enough to share… and here’s that tip (I made ya wait for it), you can write to that client on the list. Make her your focal point and address the teensiest idea as if you were speaking to her in your office or living room. HUGE help for me and my clients, in the beginning.

But there is something else really important I want to mention. About the idea of training yourself to be looking forward at where you are going. Versus being lost in the here in and now, completely unaware of the vibrational signal you are broadcasting.

Because continuing to look at your here-and-now just keeps more of the here-and-now active and present in your awareness. So the looking-forward thing, the telling-new-stories-about-the-way-I-want-it-to-be thing, starts with identifying smaller aspects or qualities about my life that I want and that would make me feel better about a particular subject or situation. And even better would be to tell a new story that generates feelings of eager anticipation for the thrill of what’s coming next for me!

Life segments as storylines

The Wheel of Life. This is so easy to picture in your head, trust me. Draw a circle, big on the page. Make nice equal segments or spokes on the wheel to make 8 to 10 segments (so 4 or 5 lines, right?)

That’s it. Circle that is now pie  🙂

So I will spit out all the segments for you, to get you started. But first…

What I’d invite you to do, is simply scan the last 24 hours or 7 days and ask yourself what thought you keep thinking over and over. On any subject in your life. What is active right now? Yup, cuz it is. With your constant chronic thinking on it… you’ve activated the shit outta it so it’s a good idea to figure out in which way you’ve activated it (are you worry/fear/doubting or expecting your new story?)

Write the topic of that active chronic thought in one of those wheel segments.

See the truth is, with our untrained attention (and it is), we are pretty much captivated with the one chronic obsessive thought or worry or concern. And it’s our own responsibility to learn about the idea of training our attention. No one else can learn that for us. We must teach it to ourselves.

Writing down the lists of positive aspects and eventually learning to look forward by telling myself a new version of the story, is the training.

  • What major topic am I thinking about chronically? What do those thoughts sound like? Write them down so you can see them. If after reading what you are saying to yourself, you feel good, go directly to GO & COLLECT $200. If not, begin reconstructing your story. What do you want to be feeling? What conditions would need to be present for you to feel that way? And away we go…. (write it all down).
  • Use these other life segments for generating new storylines: Physical Wellbeing/Health, Money, Intimacy/Romance, Friends & Family, Fun & Recreation, Physical Environment, Career/Business.

Build your lists & your new story will come

So start with where you are. Learn to apppreciate the shit outta what you already got and begin conjuring up your make-your-dreams-reality mojo. One bullet-point-at-a-time!

Book of Positive Aspects - The Lady On My Desk

My Book of Positive Aspects - The Lady On My Desk

Everyday Religion: A Guest Post by Judy Kinney

I have an everyday religion that works for me. Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. ~Lucille Ball

This is a letter that I recently wrote to a friend. I could have just as easily written this note to myself, or to you for that matter…..So, go ahead. Pretend that I wrote this letter to you.

My Dearest old long time friend,

With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, I thought today would be a great time to write you an old fashioned letter to tell you how much I love you. Aren’t I such a romantic, writing and sending you a snail mail letter! Who does that any more? Ha! Who knows what romantic juices this note might inspire within you!

Okay, okay…..I know that love is a sensitive spot for you right now. I can only imagine that Valentine’s Day is like pouring salt in the proverbial wound in your heart. Hey, FORGET Valentine’s Day! You that any ONE-day holiday that purports to be THE holiday of love should be viewed suspiciously anyway. Let’s celebrate love everyday!

Okay, back to you…One of the things I love most about being your old long time friend is how well we know each other. We have been there for each other in the best AND the worst of times over the years…….Hmmmm, when I look back, most of those times had an awful lot to do with love. Okay, I know you may not be in the mood, but think about how much love has impacted your life.

Girl, you wouldn’t be you without ALL the love that you have explored and experienced in your life. Nope. And who else would you possibly want to be? Yes, I know you wish you were taller and had a tighter bum….but other than that you know you are the bees knees. Don’t pretend you don’t!

Friend, when did you lose your gusto for love? Where was I?!

Yes, I know you enjoy remembering a few of those finer adventures in love. Yes, you had many beautiful adventures; each is worth remembering. I know you are still holding onto your dreams of what love can truly be like in the future. Memories and imagining are still GREAT ways to tap into the ol’ love flow. But, who else but your Old long time friend would ask you,

How are you going to get to your dreams when you have your love-dampers on as if you are expecting a big storm to tear your heart apart?!

Dang, girl….you know how energy and beliefs work! Hello, you are the queen of serendipity! You are the “watch me create my fine life” woman!

Damn, I wish I was there in person. We could do something wild and fun. We could laugh big and loud and then it would be much much easier for you to hear me when I tell you that,

“You will truly enjoy life to the degree that you are open and vulnerable to love.”

Yes, I AM suggesting that you be Vulnerable to love EVERY day. Sorry sister, your relationship status is irrelevant! Love is love.

Go ahead and try this mantra on for size…

“My strength and joy expands as I am open and Vulnerable to love E.V.E.R.Y. day!”

yes, dear one, you SHOULD say that everyday too!

Come on, you KNOW that the tug in your heart is calling you to live with the greatness of love. Don’t go to the damn doctor again complaining of chest pain! Jeez, my Old longtime friend, how else can I tell you that the time to love is now. THAT is what your heart is trying to tell you.

You know what? Forget sending you this letter. I am going to be even MORE old fashioned and hand deliver this note to you. I want you to look up and see how much I believe in you AND love.

That’s right! Let’s laugh, walk in the park and open up our hearts to the love that is always alive and well inside both of us.

Why? Because that is what old longtime friends do with each other.

With love galore,

[Editor’s Note: This is a guest post from Judy Kinney, the one name that came to mind when I began considering who in my orbit, I could ask to share and expand on the topic of alignment & relationships/Love.]

Relationships & Alignment

The topic of all time. Yes. Think about it.

I’ve had my share of radio broadcasting experience. Always, someone wants to know about Love. Their love life… or usually, the lack of it. A partner. An intimate compadre. With benefits!!! Because love is mixed up with lust and desire and sexuality too. We want it all. Right? And especially when we don’t have it. We REALLY want it!

Today is the day. We bow down before our idol: a big giant red heart trimmed in lacey doily stuff with a hidden “dark” underneath… sweet & melty.

We shower our beloved in gifts and sweet adornments. Except if you don’t have a sweetie to adore (or receive adoration from). Which makes this a most-loathed-day ever. Where we try and comfort our hearts (which so longingly desire to give/share love with someone) with the idea that WE are our own valentine. Or can be.

Ouch. It never really worked for me either.

Looking For Love In All The Wrong Places

The only time you notice it’s not coming back (love) is if you are outside the Vortex depending on it to resource You. ~Abraham

Abraham says that relationships are one of our biggest subjects because it is through relationships we discover who we are.

From the perspective of alignment (or being in the Vortex), relationships teach us about our proximity to our own alignment to Love itself. Real love is not about romantic relationships and all of its idealized components (although those fantasies can really help you tell yourself wonderful new stories and gain you access to your Vortex).

Relationship teaches me about my own tune (ability to be a broadcaster of Love in the universe). It’s about being a Lover. Being the one who adores instead of the one who is looking for adoration from another.

This Valentine’s Day

The Valentine you hold and can offer to your world, today & everyday, is your appreciation, love, and adoration.

How you flow it outward into your life is up to you. Who or what you use as an excuse not to flow it, is up to you. Making conditions of satisfaction necessary before you flow the appreciation, is up to you.

Discover a freedom that comes when you figure out that the way you feel is about directing your own focus. Looking for reasons to feel good. Looking for the positive aspects of the one whom you are adoring.

And that by becoming an adorer of all that is, we find alignment to who we really are and influence our world in the most positive way we can.

[This is a video post, so you might need to click through if you’re reading this via email or RSS.]

Coming up in the closing days of 40 Days of Alignment:

  • another post today… Judy Kinney shows us what it looks like to give adoration to self on this day for Lovers.
  • a guest post from Lisa Capehart on using the example of nature to help us align with our own internal compass around Health & Wellness.
  • Jessica is gonna talk about money, i just know it 🙂
  • more tips on building your lists of positive aspects and other list building ideas that when practiced, help you reset your emotional vibrational bubble around any subject