I got some feedback from clients, when I shared out loud about the fear and anxiety I have around managing my business growth and expansion. Specifically, having more clients than I think I have the time and energy to support.
Being too full or too busy to serve each of you well. Being concerned for my own well being. Wanting to get clear on what makes me really happy with what I’m doing, so I can focus on doing more of that. And asking for/getting support with the other pieces.
I said my fear and then a few of you said your own.
A long time client asked me if I could see myself continuing to support her ongoing web walk. And expressed her own fear and disappointment at having to “begin again” with someone new (say if I decided to outsource the VA part of my biz).
My inner being (aka, the Jedi) responded with “life is full of begin-again’s,” it’s the one thing for sure we can count on.
And it’s better that we learn to embrace them and welcome them. My resistance or resistant thinking about begin-again’s is what’s painful for me. I’m suffering now, for something that isn’t even happening.
Another client bravely admitted, saying out loud during a design session, that she was hiding behind the pictures. Or broader, hiding her web presence message behind concerns and specifics of her look and feel. That somehow, focusing on which photo or using many photos, was a cover up! That the true essence of who she is would not be in a picture. It would be in the risk of showing up everyday. Writing a post. Creating something new for her business. Working with her clients.
I held my hand up in solidarity with her.
It’s been a few weeks since I arrived at “my practice feels full.” A good problem to have.
And since I’ve been receiving your generous (and sometimes brave) feedback, I wanted to share with you what’s unfolded; my new reality. Since the here-and-now is so fleeting anyway. A jumping-off point. Toward another begin-again.
And I really believe in sharing our processes, together. The expansive parts of it as well as the challenging. I find greater self-acceptance and self-approval when I read about how others are challenged and what they did to rise above, or sit still as it may be, when arrows are being flung.
In my experience of thinking I may not have enough time and energy, before it’s even happened, I choose to suffer for a future event now. I’ve figured out that the only way through a hard time is with gentleness as my companion. Finding a path of least resistance means following easy. When I do, I find access to self-compassion and lovingly return to the present moment.
Returning to the present moment is choosing alignment.
And from the present moment, where there is enough time, and so much to be grateful for… a six-week-old stray kitten that is re-orienting itself to a human home, beautiful sunrises through my office window each morning as I sit down to do my thang… MY thang. Not someone else’s. Joy.
And with joy, an incredible leverage in everything I choose to do.
A mysterious time warp where there is an expansion or lengthening of time and an increased energy within myself to participate. Where I do more with less. I cover much more territory. It’s working smarter, not harder.
More remarkable, is that by choosing alignment first, more things on my plate cooperate with my joy. My clients show up easy, relaxed, and open to the process. I find time, yes, time is expanded and created for me so I can work on the launch of my next creative project (the video library) or write my heart out in a blog post.
Out of alignment is worried for what’s next. Alignment is everything is right on track and unfolding perfectly.
It’s making peace with what-is, so I can shift into anticipation for what’s to come. A shift out of fear and into freedom.