From Heartbreak To Joy, In One Easy Step
Just by thinking it?
According to the Law of Attraction. If you think it, you can have it (or essentially create it).
And if you look no further at it, the Law of Attraction falls short. And can be misinterpreted as another “quick fix”… right?
We experience the challenges of life and our overall agenda is “Get me outta here, my discomfort, my heartbreak, my lack of any kind” and we begin hunting furiously for the neon green EXIT sign. It’s almost automatic in some cases.
But the Law of Attraction is really much more than just thinking. In fact, once you hear Esther Hicks talk about our Emotional Guidance System, you realize that the real invitation is to feel. And use your feelings as a guidance system, to navigate yourself toward what you are wanting.
According to Esther Hicks, we don’t go from heartbreak to joy in one step, we do it in 22.
The First & Only Step: Start Where You Are
In my post from the window ledge, just a few weeks ago, I talked about how one of the moments of shift came for me when I simply admitted where I was.
I wrote about it and as I did, I was admitting where I was to you and also to myself.
Admitting, for me, was saying this is where I am. Admitting was also acknowledging. And remembering again, the suffering I cause myself when I deny myself the space to feel; especially certain non-pretty or uncomfortable type feelings. Feelings we think are non-desirable.
By saying it out loud, I surrendered to what is… and let go. There was nothing else to do but acknowledge where I was at that moment. Once I arrived “in the moment”, it was natural for me to begin looking around at what already might be available to me. Even at 5-stories up. And my personal process for getting out of the window ledge began.
Great, so where’s the Law of Attraction in that? Well Esther Hicks talks about our feelings as our emotional guidance system. It’s a built-in dynamic and part of being human. It’s an indicator. And it basically points at what I’m thinking about. It’s an indication of where my attention or focus is.
The Emotional Scale has 22 different emotional places of “being human.” At the bottom of the scale is fear/grief/depression/despair. Or an overall sense of powerlessness. #PowerFail
And the top of the scale is joy/knowledge/empowerment/freedom/love/appreciation.
But I don’t get off the window ledge by putting my thoughts on Joy. That actually just increases the resistance within me. It’s a form of denial of my feelings of powerlessness to expect myself to jump into Joy. And forcing myself to Joy too soon is basically turning away from what’s wrong.
Turning away may make sense & might even provide relief momentarily. But it’s an unsatisfying, temporary relief that doesn’t really stick.
For change… or for resistance to dissolve, I have found that I must turn into it and into myself. Which means often times looking squarely at what the discomfort is and giving it room to just be in me. A part of my experience.
Resistance is hard. So I use gentleness with it. Which allows me to ease into my next logical step (emotion) up from powerlessness. It’s about actually giving myself more room to feel what I’m feeling. Feel it fully. Complete the experience.
If I turn away in an effort to avoid, it just keeps taking up vital life energy force, becoming emotional baggage.
So feel it fully and then look at leaning gently from powerlessness into what feels a little bit better. And this is where thinking is harnessed.
And we simply just face in the direction we want to go.
So what’s a little bit better than powerlessness? Unworthy/insecurity/guilt. Some place in there.
We sit here for a moment, feel it fully and begin to realize, this doesn’t quite fit anymore. You’ve just moved up the emotional scale.
And a little bit better than feeling unworthy, insecure or guilty is…? Jealousy.
And after that. Hatred/Rage.
You see? There is a place for even the not-so-pretty feelings. It’s not all pretty thinking to create a better life. It’s actually more about feeling and using your feelings as a barometer to indicate to yourself, what your current focus is.
So what would feel better here? Which direction is relief?
Drop the oars. Let the existing motion of the current take you downstream… do what feels natural. Feel your feelings but just generally point in the direction of Joy as you do.
Before You Do Anything, Feel Your Way There First
One of our problems is that we are a such a ‘do’ society. We equate doing with, well, relief I think. “If I just knew what to do!” we moan to a consoling friend. We think knowing the answer and doing something will solve our discomfort and put us in a place of ease.
According to Law Of Attraction, this concept is completely backwards, unless of course you like doing it the hard way, with tons more effort.
The idea of doing less (or doing/being more expansive with the smaller segments of time) is to feel yourself into an outcome first. Using your mind to visualize, in a gentle and easy way about how it would feel if you had what you wanted. We are invited to feel into our happiness. And, after feeling into what’s good (gratitude), take action or the next ‘logical’ step.
So think your way to a million bucks becomes feel your way.
If you already had a million bucks, how would you feel? What would you do differently if money wasn’t a concern in your life? How would that change how you show up in your world? How would that change how you show up in your today?
In this present moment?
Feel that? Now go do.
There is a big difference between telling stories from a purely mental perspective and telling stories to help yourself get into a feeling place that let’s us believe life is for us. To make the conscious choice to see what is good and what is already available.
When I am in that “happy” place, I find an expansive endless supply of passion & creativity. And often, the next logical step for a current situation or challenge (like getting down from window ledges or smoothing out a misunderstanding).
This is what’s referred to as getting into the vortex. A visualized place where I am at 100% knowing and connection with my source… whole. All the time. (I mean, really I am connected at all times. I believe I am. I’m just remembering to remember that.) When I do it, I also see everyone and everything else as whole too. That’s what happens in the vortex.
The Law of Attraction for me is about heart, not head. It isn’t purely a function of thinking and receiving.
Receiving, to me, is an act of the heart. The voice of my heart is never rushing or demanding and pushy with me. It’s gives me room to start where I am. It makes space for what is, with loads of self-approval and self-acceptance.
For many of us on a spiritual path, who have investigated philosophies or religious practices and have picked up tools & principles for effective living, we get that simply thinking your way out of suck doesn’t make it happen.
It’s a process. It’s about taking personal responsibility for how you feel. And deciding nothing is more important than feeling good; which sometimes looks like upping the self-care ante considerably (I got out of the window ledge by taking a walk). Only you know what you need to feel better.
And once I can own that my feelings tell me what I am focused on, I can direct my attention and focus onto the things that help me feel expanded. Supported. Celebrated & loved. My attention is energy. When it’s focused & infused with intention, it becomes a point of creativity. A personal point of creative self expression.