“Oh it was real time honey. No filtering. No processing. No nothing. This is where I am,” I said.
Looking back at it now, I didn’t realize how perfect that was. To just decide to surrender to the moment. And write it all down.
Such beauty and perfection. My definition of perfection being the divine mystery, the unknowable. Faith in the working of things toward the expansion of life. To create. To move out and beyond, into the unknown. With a joyful heart. Remembering I can choose not to abandon my freedom to bondage, with just a single thought. Or vice versa.
When I started working with my fear for the first time, I felt like Harry at Hogwart’s as I discovered the magic I was capable of conjuring. My wand is Love. With Love, all things are possible.
One way for me to focus on Love more was to understand what was keeping me from experiencing it. Sort of dissolve the blockages. I already knew that Fear was at the bottom of it all; worrying, anxiety, not feeling good enough, feeling stuck in a world that frightened me.
What put me on the window ledge this time, was a disorientation in a relating context (it’s usually always that). I mean, we’re here on Earth with all the other humans! We are going to bump into each other every once and while.
When it comes to relating, again the great mystery is present. According to A Course In Miracles, all relating is holy. My brothers & sisters are holy encounters, where we are doing healing and remembering our individual and collective divinity. That we are all children of God, learning how to love ourselves and each other in a manner reflecting our divine source.
All things are unfolding in a divine timing. And nothing unfolds without the sole purpose of helping us expand into this. To be aware of our own power to create and be creative.
So there are no mistakes.
And Wow. Sometimes this sucks!
Sometimes someone shows up and this concept just stinks. I find myself asking questions like, “How did I get here? Did I really attract this? This is for my divine learning? UGH!”
And then, I become my client (love it when I remember to drink my own kool-aid). I actually remember to apply what I say to other people about this all the time, to my own life. Huge win (because drinking your own kool-aid takes extra Jedi practice.)
One of the first things we talk about when we’re talking about relationship challenges (spousal/romantic, bosses, family, any type of relating counts) is that in the new world of being a Fear Jedi, the Jedi herself recognizes that she has the secret superpower of being able to alter the relationship. All on her own. To change it completely. Yesssss. That’s the good news isn’t it?
And the bad news is the good news. And that is, it is completely up to the Jedi to be responsible for how she sees the relationship (and it’s challenges).
And that by choosing to deliberately put your Jedi mind skills (use your wand) upon focusing on Love (which is usually always something that scares you), the Jedi creates shift in the relating.
What we focus on, follows. So follow Love. Just face in that direction. It might be giving yourself the Love or seeing the other person involved with more innocence (less judgment or the idea that they are guilty of whatever we think they are guilty of).
In most all cases, including my own experience, the shift is so significant, it feels miraculous. No measure of size here. Even the in the smallest there is awesome. There is feel better. Relief. Hope. Renewal. Room to breathe (at least a little easier).
And really all the Jedi has done is the inner work to mind her thoughts and change her mind. A tiny miracle that changes everything.
In my moment of willingness, where I surrendered, I put my faith in Love and simply faced in that direction. And when I did, I began to align with the power that creates worlds. It was something I felt. Change I experienced on many inner levels which are mysteriously very connected to my all outer circumstances.
That morning, on my Gratitude walkabout (that was really about being easy on myself, choosing myself, loving myself) I remembered that I have the power to direct my thoughts. I have a choice what I will think about. I have a choice at what story I’m continually telling myself.
How I’m choosing to see the situation, is all up to me.
Even in this unpeaceful relating moment, I can choose a peaceful thought.
“Wow, look at the beautiful flower” felt way nicer than “OMF’in G, I think imma gonna jump right out of this window if XYZ.”
Pollyanna you say? When it hurts, it hurts. Period. And sometimes it’s simply reaching for the feeling of relief that creates the buffer for Love to do It’s thing.
None the less, welcome to the middle of my life; currently showing is Loving Myself FIRST, No Matter What.
Cliff Notes For Window Ledge Conversations
- Acknowledge & feel it. “I’m on this window ledge and it hurts like hell.”
- See the good, feel better. “I can count on Gratitude.”
- Get my Jedi mind tricks tuned in and humming the song I wish to sing.
The only reason why you could ever experience something other than what you desire is because you are giving the majority of your attention to something other than what you desire. ~Abraham