Best of ’09 is a series of posts inspired by Gwen Bell’s The Best of 09 Blog Challenge. It’s a challenge designed to help me write more and rediscover more grateful moments in my 2009! Hopefully, 31 posts in 31 days 😉
Learning experience. What was a lesson you learned this year that changed you?
It’s funny how the things we remember most are the things that hurt us deeply. Leaving a mark on us. Changing us forever.
The topic of change is so critical. It’s the one constant of life. I can still hear my mom telling me, “Life is full of change so get used to it!” when I was 15 and she was leaving. I cried, begged, pleaded. But change won. It always does.
And even though there is a sad story (I’m sure you’ve got your own) wrapped around the words she spoke, everything has changed since that morning.
How I feel about her (thank you forgiveness).
How it formed me into a young adult very early and taught me to take care of myself.
How I am able to see things from a different perspective, the perspective of the other.
The realization that judging another is really about judging myself, in the end. Because life curiously always brings about the situation for me to stand in so I can see exactly what choice I would make. And it’s usually not much different from the choices of others. We are all doing our best with what we’ve got, at the time.
So if change is the only constant, what it really boils down to is how open we are to it. How we take care of ourselves in the midst of it. And what our overall thinking about change is…
Resistance leads to more suffering. That’s what I’ve learned this year.
Stepping off the cliff and into change allows us to see we have wings that when stretched out, carry us forward into life. That’s what I’ve learned this year.
I affirmed and clarified (again) that everything in my outer world is a reflection of my inner world. And it’s easy to look outside myself and say, “You did this to me.” And it takes real courage to own my part and take responsibility. Yes to admit my faults… but even more so, is to be willing to see what pattern is being shown to me so that I can heal.
This year, I’ve been learning about the pattern of holding back. And that it’s not anyone else’s problem but my own. And the greatest lesson in holding back was partnering closely with someone who, in my humble opinion, was so good at it. And it’s easy to stay right there. My gaze stuck on them. Stuck on what’s wrong and what isn’t working.
Until I realized that it was just a reflection of my own holding back that was speaking to me and wanting my attention so badly.
And I’m extremely grateful for this realization. Because when it’s mine to own, it’s mine to change. And change is really the only constant. Thank God or Buddha or Krishna or Allah.
Thank whomever you thank. But say thank you to change.
Turbulence is life force. It is opportunity. Let’s love turbulence and use it for change. ~Ramsay Clark