I’m always talking about getting something on. As of late, Lisa Capehart is helping me get my wellness on.
Wellness Coaching is typically about hiring someone to help you get back onto the road of better health; personal trainer meets life coach.
Lisa explained to me in a BlogTalkRadio interview earlier this year that she was working on a more rounded approach and incorporating all aspects of health (not just physical, but the emotional, mental and spiritual well being components) into her wellness coaching program.
About 6 weeks ago, Lisa and I sat down and she began helping me hash out a picture of my version of ideal wellness. I wanted this time to be different.
In 2006, I hired and worked with a personal trainer at the gym. In six short months, I lost about 30 pounds and literally changed the shape of my body.
I got into the gym every morning at 5:00 a.m. and did an hour of elliptical 4 days a week, with 2 days of strength training.
I also modified my eating habits. Although I had been eating six small meals a day and walking 3 miles four to five times per week thanks to Michael Thurman, I was now counting calories and making sure not to exceed 1200-1400 calories each day.
Every day, in my head, was a constant negotiation.
Between keeping track of calories eaten and workouts completed on SparkPeople.com, doing the actual workouts themselves, working full time at Experian, training to earn my coaching certification, mother of a (then) 13 year-old, nurturing a new & budding romantic relationship and having any social life, I methodically chiseled the pounds away and watched my body mass index (BMI) shrink.
I’m sure you’re ready for the but, or at least have an inkling that it’s coming. So here it is…
But… there was definitely something missing for me. Even though I got on the scale and allowed Chris (our hot personal trainer) to do those wonderful, fantastical “measurements” and I could see the results with my own eyes, I wasn’t feeling satisfied. And by satisfied, I don’t mean the “more please, this is so great, I’m hungry to keep doing this great healthy stuff.” I mean, I wasn’t enough. My body. My acceptance of it. My acceptance of me (or even the version of me that was 30 pounds lighter).
There was always more change or transformation I felt I needed or wanted. Heck, most of the time, I felt like I was still a long ways off from my goal (ideal). I had set a goal to lose 30 pounds, thinking that that would allow me to feel better about myself, and then lost the 30 pounds and somehow, there was always more to lose. This or that area of my body. More crunches. More lunges. More cardio. More. More. More.
I got results. Really good results. I mean 30 pounds! I did look great for that cruise (looking back). At the time, I felt pretty good, but again, in the back of my head I had this nagging conversation with myself that traveled down the lines of it all not being enough.
And the bottom line, I didn’t feel good. There was a mask of goodness because I was wearing dress and pant sizes 3 sizes smaller than before, but I mean a real, sustaining, enduring feeling of good? It wasn’t there.
Back to Lisa
As I said, I wanted this time it to be different. Of course, I fell right off that regimented workout wagon after I hit my goal and have yet to return to the gym. So much resistance.
I’ve gained every bit of the weight back.
And although from this perspective I can finally appreciate my 2006 body, I’ve also known for a while that the road back would have to be way different then the one I took with Chris.
The Missing Link
I’ve done a lot of reflecting about what went missing from my physical fitness equation back on 2006. And a couple of weeks ago while working with Lisa, I was talking out loud about my resistance and Lisa was gently sticking her finger into it here and there.
And in an instant, as I chatted away, I said something and experienced a light-bulb moment. It was all about this feeling good stuff. And about how critical of an ingredient it is to any endeavor. Feeling good.
That I must feel good first. Before I do “it.” Not after I get there. Wherever there is for me (or you). It could be a business. A relationship. Or working out. Everything, really.
And in that moment with Lisa, we both were seeing this point so clearly. That in order to enjoy any goal, I must enjoy the process of getting there. If I don’t enjoy the process of getting there, I will never enjoy the goal. Live my happy ending right now!
And this is the point or moral of my post. A pretty big one. Which leads right into another awareness about intention, the Fearless Living kind. The whole point and purpose of the fearless living kind of intention is to practice detachment from a particular outcome and put your focus onto that which helps you to feel good.
We recapture our own personal power in the process and draw our focus back to the process… away from an end result.
So my intention now for my wellness plan is that I am willing to live my happy ending today, right now. I am willing to be happy right now and then take action from that place. Get happy about what’s right about my wellness before I climb onto that elliptical. And then see what the experience brings me. See if I don’t feel more expanded and in a freedom that actually nurtures and sustains my growing desires to live healthier, fitter, stronger.
Now, my weekly wellness plan goals have modified in a way that neutralizes the push push push up against my resistance. Lisa also invited me to look at my overall 3 month wellness plan through the same lens of using greater compassion and self-acceptance, of making feeling good my number one priority.
Whether I’m walking or running or eating for that matter. Talking to my business partner or a potential joint venture person. Lying around at the pool or writing a blog post. Helping a client or hanging out with my daughter during summer vacation playing Monopoly on the Wii on a Tuesday at 11:00 a.m. Happy. Now. Feel-good. Now!
Today, I am willing to practice being my happy ending, right now!
I’m having a two-part teleclass later this month that’s all about the practice of noticing attachment to the end result and shifting into a more powerful intentional place of being.
And, for you:
- What happy ending are you waiting for?
- What do you wish you could change about your life?
- What do you hope will change so you can be happy now?
If you’re curious about picking up some new perspectives that help you to show up completely different and dump the wishing, waiting hoping game once and for all, you won’t want to miss my teleclass thingy.