Wow! Are you shocked by my headline? I kinda meant to do that. I rarely, if ever, use a strong word like hate… only to say it’s the one thing I think I MOST fear.
And yet today, I recognized those familiar feelings of “ick” after listening to a politically themed “more right” BlogTalkRadio show. I was so disturbed, I felt my hands shaking, my heart racing. When us personal development folks talk about noticing change in your body, this is just the kind of thing we are talking about. So I will not get into the why’s of why I chose to listen to this particular show admittedly knowing my views do not align with theirs… instead I want to share with you how I shifted and some of what it looked like.
My Coach-y Tool of Choice
The first thing I know as a coach (as previously mentioned) is that when I notice by body changing, there’s an opportunity for inquiry. Of course, I could do my old unconscious habit of getting mad, staying mad, finding evidence in the world to support my version of “right” and it’s a long road to nowhere. Actually, if Hell does exist, that road is it! I guess I had run through the old unconscious habit enough to realize by the uncomfortableness in my body, that there must be another right. Another right?! Yes. There is more than one right answer to every problem… perhaps there is a more gentler “right” I can discover and release myself from the unconscious habit of being in Hell.
Enter Colin Tipping
If you visit http://RadicalForgiveness.com, you can sign up for a FREE access to a worksheet created by Colin. This process provided me a space to vent and acknowledge my feelings about “The Republicans” and then took my hand and helped me shift into a more accountable and intentional place within myself. Wow, from outer-focused to inner-focused in 20 steps.
Yes, the process is somewhat long, and the interface a bit clunky, and yet it so does the job and I am grateful to have access to it! Period!
What It Looks Like
What I said to myself:
- Republicans just don’t understand
- Republicans can only see and process through the filter of fear
- Republican don’t want the same things that I do
- Republicans are mean, call names and are unconscious people
What core negative belief does the above bring forward:
- I must obey or suffer
- Others are more important than me
- I am alone
- No one will love me
- No one is there for me
- It is not safe to be me
- I am always last or left out
- It is not safe to speak out
- Life is not fair
The behavior that shows up when I am in judgment is that I focus on our differences, and I create separateness or a gap between myself and the ones I judge.
I now realize that I get upset only when someone resonates in me those parts of me I have disowned, denied, repressed and then projected onto them. The Republicans are now reflecting back to me what I need to love and accept within myself.
I am willing to release the fear that:
- my own countrymen are so “against” me that they might call me names, try to make me small, stupid, ashamed, guilty, bad or wrong
- my countrymen may physically hurt me
I am willing to release the sadness that:
- my countrymen do not see they are their brother’s keeper
- that we do not see how we harm ourselves and each other
- our unconsciousness keeps up distracted from what really matters
I am willing to release the feelings of helplessness and hopelessness.
When I Started “Seeing” Myself
I realize now that we are all connected and made One through our desire to want the best for ourselves. I realize now that we are all connected and made One because I can see that I can count on everything working towards the Greater Good, even when it doesn’t make sense or frightens me.
The Radical Bottom Line
My discomfort was my signal that I was withholding love from myself and The Republicans by judging, holding expectations, wanting The Republicans to change and seeing The Republicans as less than perfect.
Having done this worksheet I have created a much more life-affirming space to hold my brothers & sisters (called “The Republicans”) in, a space that is more accepting and focuses me on what’s most important to me which is showing up and offering Love; to myself and others.