- Selfish Series: Part 1 – Stand Up For YourSelf This Christmas
- Selfish Series: Part 2 – Reframing Selfish
- Selfish Series: Part 3 – Ask For What You Want
- Selfish Series: Part 4 – Needy vs. Selfish
It’s Christmas time or at least my TV has been telling me so since long before Thanksgiving even. The public decorations are following as street lights become adorned with oversized candy canes glittering in our crisp Southern Calfornia winter air. For me Christmas summons thoughts of generosity, giving (ok and some receiving too!) and time spent with family members which usually include encountering a few challenging personalities.
Has the “bah-humbug” bug bitten you like it has me?
Yes, it’s true! I’ve been bitten. While thinking of all the things “I must do” this Christmas such as shop, shop and shop some more… then give, give and give again… I’m feeling a little bitter about it all with my biggest judgment stemming from “why do we live in such a consumer-driven culture? Why is it that we think more material stuff will make our lives better?” My coach training suggests that getting to the “why” is not the way through my holiday season. Instead, choosing to shift into “how” might reveal new information that allows me to make different choices.
Challenging our Holiday status-quo
As a coach, one way we support ourselves and our clients is to get us to look at other ways of being. If you’ve heard me use the term “your automatic way of being” you know what I’m talking about here because I am constantly challenging myself and my clients to show up differently in the world or at least ask themselves “how would I like to show up in this situation?” The blunt truth is that if we can identify with a sense that something is missing in our lives, then clearly we get to make some adjustments to our “automatic way of being” because it’s just not cutting it, otherwise would we have a sense that something was missing in the first place?
Opposites attract… but what exactly?
One way to get to a new “how” is to simply challenge ourselves to begin showing up in the opposite way we think we should. The opposite of generous for me is selfish… Ebenezer epitomized selfish afterall, wouldn’t you agree? Yet, what if we are throwing out the baby with the bath water… I mean, what if there is something beneficial to being selfish, especially during the holiday season?
Are your feathers ruffled yet? Is your jaw on the floor? Are you thinking “Santa needs to stuff her stocking with some more marbles because she’s completely lost hers!” GOOD. That’s exactly what I want for you… to step out of your comfort-zoned automatic way of being and stretch yourself into the possibility of how selfish might be a good thing this holiday season!
Between now and Christmas, I will be exploring selfish in the form of writing several blog articles illuminating the value and benefits of selfishness. Let’s see what comes out the exploration of selfish and what, if anything, you might choose to adopt as your a new way of being that supports you standing up for yourself and improving your holiday season as a result.
Long live Ebenezer and the Grinch!